Time for New Chapter

I have been going through plenty and I do not have time for anything. I am tired of it. Ever since October, I have been waking up wondering why I even own a house. I have been in the same house for six years. I moved into the house with the same car I have now and the same dog I have now. Doesn't anyone get a house to start a life? I have done no such thing. I still have a shitty dating life; nobody wants a commitment WITH ME. Men run off to marry the neighbor across the street. Men run off to another state or country and get married. Nobody takes me with them. Nobody cares to take me with them or make an effort to help me get out of here. My friends in Boise tell me to move back and I ask, "What for? Do you know that was where I moved from?" It's the same situation in Boise and I HATE IDAHO!! If I am going to be moving anywhere, it is going to be away from here. I am already alone. I asked why anyone wants me to move to Boise or stay in Idaho. I am told that my friends and family are here. I am told my friends will miss me. Well, if they miss me so bad, how come I am alone at home every Saturday night? OMG, fuck you. I am certainly not going to go to church for a social life. I am not going to meet up groups because they are strangers and I don't know anyone. It doesn't help that I do not trust a soul especially after that CUNT Bianca. What a piece of crap; I am not ready to tell the story yet. I will have to show screen shots of all of the horrible things she has said. She is such a miserable bitch her parents are not even talking to her. NO IT DOES NOT MATTER if you do a background check. Next person who tells me that deserves to be slapped. What the do you think I have been doing and who do you think you are for lecturing me to do something when I am an adult? I have EVERY right to say something about what is going on in my life and I am SICK of people lecturing me when I say something. I am not going to keep things bottled up. If I am going through distress or a crappy experience I am NOT asking for your opinion. Especially, if you think you are an expert on me and have information from another party and not myself. TIRED OF IT. This has been going on my entire life. I live a life of solitude and silence and I cannot take it anymore. I want to leave. I am tired of people treating me like shit and abusing me. I am tired of not being able to have any type of emotion whatsoever. I am tired of being in an environment where people talk about me to others behind my back. Everyone is the expert of me when nobody has ever heard my side of the story. Rami had to go to Iraq back in October. He told me there was trouble. I was worried sick about him. He did not let me say good bye. He didn't even let me know when he came back. I thought that his cousins were threatening to kill his family. All I could picture was ISIS capturing and murdering him. His friends would not tell me what was going on. Good ol' SKANKY Krista Hissner started sending me messages on Tango as soon as he left. She said, "You know why he went to Iraq??? I do!!" God, why would a slut think that I would listen to her when she is obviously being a malicious bitch? I told her once more to leave me alone (I already blocked her on Facebook after telling her that I did not want to share him with her.) and I blocked her on yet another social media device. I wanted to hear it from Rami...not a WHORE. What confused me was that he called me. He was trying to buy me shoes. We couldn't figure it out. As long as he called, I knew he was alive and okay. About a couple days later, his friend posted a picture of Rami's car and it had decorations on it. In Arabic he congratulated Rami on his marriage. I never felt so hurt because this was the sixth time that this has happened to me. I lost yet another friend in the process. I cussed him out for hiding what Rami was doing. I cussed Rami out for not telling me what was going on. I was more infuriated with him because I was supposed to be a friend of his and he told everyone else including that slut Krista. What the fuck is with everyone??? He stated he was trying to keep me from being hurt. By being dishonest? I showed him the messages that Krista up and sent me without me instigating any conversation. I told him how he expected me to trust him or anyone else again? Do you not understand the damage you have caused? He seemed disgusted. Rami sneered, "Why does she have to be like that?" My thought was because he was probably fucking her!! I was in severe pain during the weekend and stayed in bed taking pain medication. Why does this keep happening to me? Why can't ANY man do me the courtesy of telling me instead of leaving me hanging and not able to let go? I tried to find comfort. He told me that I could not come because his brothers and cousin was there. I researched Iraqi culture and they marry their cousins there. This gave me no comfort whatsoever because I realized that he did not lie that his cousin was there...that was his wife. I am already overwhelmed. I tried to have a normal conversation with his friend who I lost trust in. His friend slipped and said that him and Krista were not together anymore. I flipped out. I was pissed that she (who supposedly had a boyfriend) touched the very person I told her I did not want to share. I was pissed at Rami most of all. He got jealous when one of my male friends were coming to help me at the house. He got jealous after I thought we broke up of another man. He told me to not sleep with anyone else while he was away. Why would I when I have no interest in anyone else anymore? I was pissed because I asked him so many times. I was pissed because there were so many things I saw that made me suspicious of him that he blatantly lied to my face about. I said the nastiest things to him. This sucks because I love him, even though he told me not to. I cannot help it. He tells me so much that he likes me. He tells me he misses me. He told me that he is not happy with the marriage and that he tried to stop it. My thought is, if you are in America and they are in Iraq tell them to fuck off. God, if you are in a country that gives you that freedom why travel back to get stuck in another predicament. Want to prevent it? DON'T GO!! Perhaps he missed his family that much? Perhaps his cousins were going to kill someone? He probably didn't want any other tragedies to be "his fault." I stay with him. I stay with him because I know he likes me. I stay with him because I give up. All I can think of is how bad I want to leave. There are more women than men in the state of Idaho. People do not socialize and accept others here. I have so much to take care of on the house by myself. Huge yard=me. Several trees falling apart=me. Plumbing=me. Electrical=me. Siding= me. It is so bad, I don't even have time to work? What is the point? For credit? Men say, "What do you mean? You are independent, have a job, and own a house!" For what? Just to be by myself and die alone? I want to grow old with someone, why can't I have a chance at anything? I have been here for six years and nothing has changed in my life other than a degree and a different employer. I don't know where to go. I cannot even research that without getting a virus on the computer. God, I am so tired of this and I want out.

Moving Along

When was the last time I posted in here? I haven't been here much because I cannot change the format of this blog and I am also writing another blog that is politically charged. So, I was one of the lucky 1,600 people who were laid off. This has to be one of the most immature experiences I have ever had. It is not just MAXIMUS who was immature; it was also the people who they hired. When you look at indeed.com, Boise is the only place that gave MAXIMUS one star. Could it be because they are butt hurt that Obama is the president? Is it because people disagree with the health care reform? I have mixed feelings about the ACA. For starters, why are they calling it affordable? Yeah, some people may get a subsidy, but there are others who do not get one. You have to be making a specific amount to get a tax credit. You have to file your taxes and be a U.S. citizen. You also cannot have an offer for insurance from your employer or you will not be eligible. I like that I can get free generic birth control. Some of the aspects of the law are not applied because it depends on what the insurance company offers. The weird part about this act is the morning after pill; originally it was free, but you still have to fork out $50 for it. Before you had to go to the pharmacist and now you can purchase it as though it is aspirin. What gives? According to the HIPAA law, employers have a right to your personal information. In most states, like Arizona, employers can terminate you for using birth control. I honestly think that the HIPAA law should apply to employers because they are not doctors and it is none of their fucking business. In turn, they moved Plan B to the front of the counter...birth control still needs to be called in by your doctor. I honestly think that the ACA should have been putting laws on how much doctors are charging you. Being a doctor should be about helping the ill, not that Ferrari or fancy wine. As far as the agents are concerned, they thought they were under a contract. I personally think they are a bunch of retards for thinking so. MAXIMUS is the one who has a contract with another company for use of the building; not the agents. Not to mention it is not a union job. Seriously, people horsed around during training and did not pay attention to diddly. Every time someone would start bitching or whining about something not being in the contract, I just wanted to turn around to tell them to shut up. This was a daily thing. The only thing we signed was what we normally sign. It is a fire at will deal in a right to work state. Whine, whine, whine. I certainly love reading the stupidity that is being spread and printed. This one lady said that 1,400 people get to keep their jobs and that there was a three year contract. Bullshit. Evidently, Idaho Statesman does not conduct research before broadcasting information on the internet. Someone stated that MAXIMUS laid off 2,500 people...um no, they hired 2,000 people so the thought that they laid of 2,500 is ridiculous. Where do people get this bullshit information? I have been trying to find a job that would waive my student loan. I asked MAXIMUS if they fall under the public service program, they told me that they were not. So, I was looking for a new job before they announced the lay off. It was either find something or get stuck or find something and be jobless. If you think about it, it would have happened anyway. I don't know if anyone understands that when they ramp up in the next couple of months there is going to be an even bigger lay off. I think that is why a huge chunk of people quit as soon as the e-mails were sent on who was being let go. So, I got the e-mail. Which makes me suspicious about the situation. As I worked there, my former team mates were being supervised by our previous supervisor from Guthy Renker...these people were the first hired on at MAXIMUS and were not laid off. Very suspicious indeed. I started to get things ready for my vacation. I figured it would be about a month. So, I got stuff to shampoo my couches, repair the toilet, work on the garden, and chop branches off of the trees. I also continued to apply for work. No more call centers. I tried to apply for anything more quiet. Library, bank, health insurance companies. If I were to work at a call center again, I wanted it to be health insurance because I like the customers who call them. It is way easier to talk about insurance than technical troubleshooting, two year agreements, shotty installation, and auto replenishment programs. If you need to get a job, get a job in an industry that people need. The day of the lay off created temptation to cause as much trouble as possible. We have this group of agents that we transfer customers to when they are angry or need their insurance benefits ASAP. This group of agents was extremely rude and irritable. Hey, I had the same position as them. I wanted to cold transfer a bunch of customers to them. I almost did on the last call, but the guy was an insurance agent who had a sore throat and has been struggling as much as we were to enroll people on that wonderful website healthcare.gov. I also wanted to leave fake dog poop in my locker. But, I behaved despite my boredom. I was called in by Best Life and Health insurance. I am not familiar with the company, but I have seen them a few times while enrolling people into insurance. I know the basics of insurance. They hired me on and I will begin next week. I did not know I would be hired so quickly, so some of the maintenence on the house will be delayed a little bit. I am almost done with the trees. I need a steam cleaner for the couches I discovered. I am pretty excited and nervous about the new job. I will be trained though. I think that once I get started, I should be comfortable. I just need to learn more about how dental insurance functions and the systems and I will be golden.

Taking Care of Stuff

Been away for a while. Been taking care of a million things, which makes it difficult to make changes in the house at the present time. I have been calling around taking care of paperwork for my current job. Finally got the taxes situated for my paycheck; it took about five months. I finally received my document for my pension with DirecTv to move over to my new 401K; that needs to be done by a specific date. Trying to keep up with my dogs and their grooming; they are in desperate need of a hair cut. I have been trying to make plans to fix the house. I have to work out something to fix my plumbing and clip some branches off of a few trees. I have to fix some siding and yell at the neighbor for screwing up my fence. The fence was kind of leaning when I got home one day, which makes it hard to open the gate at the side of the house. I hate their children and I am tempted to get a surveillance system so I can take their happy asses to court. I have been busy taking care of Rami. I have been the official research person for his papers and sometimes I proofread. I am a bad ass like that. I want to cook him something, but he objects in a subtle manner. I decided to get him some new sheets and some dish towels because he did not have anything that I found to be decent.I was going to play that Hershey kiss trick on him, but I didn't know how well he would take it. I asked him if he wanted a kiss, he said yeah, so I handed him a giant Hersheys kiss. I tend to run into various cultural things that are pretty funny. His foot fell asleep one day and he said it was called, "Numb numb." I told him we call it "falling asleep" here and I could not help, but laugh at it because it sounds funny that we say things like that. I discovered that they don't have zombie stories in Iraq, but they do have ghost stories and I think that might be my next project. I had to explain to him about what zombies are. There is so much to learn from this guy and I really wish he would be here forever or take me away with him. He does not know what he is doing after college. It makes me sad, but I want to be around him for as long as I can. He is just too sweet. When I am at his place in the morning, I don't want to leave. I have never seen such an adorable person to wake up in the morning. Unfortunately, I have many responsibilities at home that need to be taken care of that take me all day.

Regular Business Hours

I have discovered recently what an inconvenience my new job is. I thought that scheduling at previous jobs were a pain in the ass because I normally never got anything done nor had time to go out and play. I have holidays off, but I have to be bed early so I can be up early the following day. I cannot go see a doctor because they are not open before and after work. I cannot go to the DMV to renew anything. I can barely make it to the library and the post office. I do not have enough time to date anyone once again. The guy that I like is in another town. I could swing by after work, but I have to get home and take care of things. I have animals to feed. I have a room mate who has her head up her ass that I need to keep an eye on. I cannot get things situated. I have been trying to get my W2 figured out since September. Four months later, I finally get it figured out. I can only get this type of information if I ASK FOR A DAY OFF. H&R Block is not open during the weekend. Hiring agencies work the same hours I do. Hewlett Packard is not giving anyone access to this information until next year. Throwing a temper tantrum about the new call center, Hewlett Packard? I cannot speak to anyone about my 401K or pension plan. Everyone works the same hours I do. Nobody wants business except for Fidelity, obviously. Financial Planning Services LLC has not called me back after three messages. It has been a little over a week. Everyone else wants $250,000 and gripe about having too many clients. Really? You want someone else's house to retire for funds that is good enough for a shopping spree at a dollar store each month. Then, my employer is wanting people to work overtime? I hardly have enough time as it is and I have to request days off to get petty shit done. Time off I am not paid for. I don't give a shit about hot dog bars and pop corn bars. I don't give a shit if we get to do needlework. The individual who was sent to beg people to do overtime had the gumption to whine about not being able to see her daughter who she hasn't seen in months. Can it lady! I haven't had time to go Christmas shopping. I do not get paid enough to go Christmas shopping and you make more money than I do and can afford it. I don't have time to see anyone and I cannot afford to go see anyone. It sure as hell is not helpful making me stay at work for the weekend. I don't want to hear about your trials and tribulations. If I have to hear it from you, you will hear it from me. I have never been married and don't have children and I am 36. I have been trying to go meet people and I cannot. My social life has been reduced to trying to keep friendships with thieves and liars. I rarely get to see my family and I am starting to forget names of family members. Things fall apart if I do not take time to do anything. My house is already falling apart and I have dogs I am taking care of so I don't have large vet bills again. Things cannot wait here; I need those days off. So, no I am not working overtime.

Busted

I am surprised I didn't notice this sooner, but there are stacks of movies gone. The only people who live here are me and Bianca. The only person I have permitted to borrow my movies is Bianca. This is what she does, she will borrow a handful of movies and watch them in the living room. She would bring SOME of them back, borrow more, and bring the previous ones back. She will place them out of order on the shelves. What made me suspicious was the fact that I noticed three stacks of movies missing last weekend. I asked her what she did with them as though she were an adult. She got upset and started saying that they are always in the living room and that she always brings them back. She went on a tangent about me calling her a thief and saying I treat her the same way as Joseph and how dare her let me meet her parents. I mentioned that she got on Joseph's case for things that she was doing. She knitted her eyebrows saying, "Where else would they be, Jen? How did I get them, your door is always locked? How did I take them, did I slip them into my pants?" She also mentioned that it is never about me; it is ALWAYS about someone else. I also told her that her rhetoric was not going to work on me and to tell me where my movies are. She told me that I was a bitch and no wonder I don't have any friends. Supposedly, one movie was in her friend's possession. I notice the next day that Chaos Theory was missing...this was already stolen by my ex-boyfriend Paul. I asked her when my movies were going to be returned. She acted innocent, "Huh? What do you mean?" The movies I was talking about before. She got upset and went on the same tangent again...evidently this was going nowhere. I thought about it, I have done this before...where do you sell movies? Hastings and pawn shops. She had told me twice about this pawn shop on 12th where you can buy 10 movies for $15. So...I went there and low and behold the first movie I spot is Secret Ballot. This movie is an independent Pakistani film that never was released in Idaho in any shape or form. I bartered for this movie and it was mailed to me from another state. I look inside and *gasp* there was the bubble wrap that I left inside. I look further and find two more movies...um I write my name on them by the way and my name was on these movies. I go to the counter and tell them the ordeal...they can't do anything because they get so many DVD's and do not inventory them. They asked if any of mine were missing, I told them the name of my room mate. It is documented that Bianca (I'll exclude her last name) sold DVDs to them in August 2013. Let's see, Bianca's name is in there system and there are movies in the store with my name on them? I spent an hour at the police station trying to figure out how to go about this inconsiderate bitch. Since the pawn shop cannot provide proof of which movies were sold, I cannot do anything. I have to find about 15 more movies and see if I can find her name in other pawn shops that do. Until then, I am playing miss innocent. I bought 19 movies back so far...and not with my money. I am going to wait until after the holiday season to deal with this in a legal manner.

Happy Thanksgiving!

I had a nice Thanksgiving. A couple of months ago, Rami was asking me about the holidays like Christmas and New Years. I asked him what he was doing and he said that maybe he was going to cruise around Boise. I was thinking that since he was Muslim and didn't celebrate the same holidays we do and since he didn't have much family here, I wanted to bring him to a Thanksgiving dinner and share my holidays with him and have him meet more members of my family because Rami is just an awesome guy. I was a little nervous because he dislikes the fact that we Americans let our dogs sleep on our beds. I told him that everyone has a different idea on where a dog should and should not be. Mine sleep on my bed (when they do not have fleas) because they are my babies and want to sleep next to their momma. Dad leaves his outside. Mom permits hers to sleep on the bed as well. It's just what we do...it's nothing sexual unless you are a pervert who needs to be locked up and heavily medicated. As we drove up to Garden Valley, he was asking me why I took the long way. I took the way through Horseshoe Bend because I think it is safer and more familiar. I told him the other way was scary and longer. We made it and he was nervous about going in and uncertain if anyone knew of his arrival. I coaxed him in and he met everyone. He loved the dogs and played with them. We had a nice dinner. Him and grandpa talked about Jewish and Muslim relations. Then we were off again because he has a bunch of papers due for his finals. So, on the way out of Garden Valley, I saw a sign and the first thing I read was the arrow pointing to Boise. As I drove, I realized that the road looked different and I did not remember seeing snow on the way up. We played in the snow. Rami was unsure if we were actually heading to Boise. I advised any time you think you are lost, just keep driving. I knew we were headed to Boise, it was just the way he stated was the shorter way. The drive was about two hours and we ended up in Idaho City. We made it to Lucky Peak and to Boise. So, we were safe and sound. I dropped him off and went home. When I made it to Nampa, I saw a green comet shoot across the sky. This may have been the coolest Thanksgiving ever.

Chaos and Disorder

Yes, I have been terribly busy. I'm getting things organized before January rolls along. I have been interviewing for different jobs because I think that something about my current job is going down hill. I have been doing stuff around the house. I think it is funny how stupid people think I am. I was trying to fix a wall outside. I haven't been able to contact my father, so I decided to hunt for affordable material. So, I asked my friends online if they knew where to get material. One friend (who is obviously desperate for money)starts telling me her husband can help me. I told her I could afford $100. She said they could do it for $200. The day comes when they are going to help. I ask if he has ever done siding before...no answer. I get an answer about what time he would be there. I ask again. Finally, she answered that he was going to use caulking and nails for a temporary fix until I can afford someone. I'm thinking, "Fuck no." Really? Temp fix for $200. I told her no. She kept on insisting he can do a good job and that "they need the money." Yeah, they lost credibility, fucking rip off artist.Luckily, dad finally made it and we fix it for $7. Things have been relatively quiet around the house. We have new neighbors and Judge Donahue will rent that house to anything that breathes and breeds. They always have one million children jumping on the cars and house. It is always entertaining. So, I come home Thursday night because I had to be up early to go to an interview. When I get home, the room mate was fighting with her boyfriend. I am trying to stay out of the way and out of the middle. This guy will not shut up. He said good bye to me and went out the front door. Next thing I knew, the neighbor across the street backed into the room mates car. Not only is there an argument that happened, she is getting stressed out about her car. The neighbor tried to flee. The room mate gets info and does not call the police. I'm not sure what to do because there was a ton going on. I've been in an accident without police getting involved and the car was fixed. So, she has been trying for a couple of days to contact the lady who hit her car and has been unsuccessful. I have been spending extra time in Boise with a new friend. I will not say too much because I don't know what to make of the relationship. He is Arabic and I often misunderstand what his intentions are. We have not yet decided if we are boyfriend and girlfriend. It has been nice because I can swing by his house. I help him out with getting ready for college and he feeds me. We watch movies, get drunk, and bullshit. I have not dated in a really long time so I am having a hard time deciphering the situation. He is really sweet and every time I learn something new, the more sweet he is. Right now, I am feeling overwhelmed with what needs to be done around the house. Remember I had stuff installed on my house? Yeah, they came back to make sure the money is being spent on the house and not expensive cars and stuff. I thought it was going to be a couple of people...it was similar to a scene from E.T. when the government was taking over the house. They showed up with an army of about 10 people. I tried to reschedule, they were being stubborn and refused. My job was being stubborn and refused to let me have the day off. We were short handed at work, four people had the day off and more called in. Not to mention someone puts in their notice every single day. While my house was being inspected, the lady tells me I could have said no and to reschedule. I told her that I was told otherwise. This really ticked me off. It was a good thing they arrived though. I brought the water pressure to their attention. Something on the water heater is supposed to balance everything out and it is not doing the job. They also fixed the deadbolt on the door to my room because the door kit they installed made it impossible to latch it. So, yeah, I have been pretty busy. I have not found something to pay me enough money. I am still trying to get rid of credit card bills so I can at least pay the student loan. Hopefully, I can start getting things done and put my degree to work and find someone to be in my life.