A thought cam across my mind today. I want a new father. Mine...well, it just isn't working out.
He forgot my birthday a couple of years ago. His excuse was that he confused mine with Shykia's.
Okay, I know I am busy. My job is unable to give me a time off request. I have to go to school. My laptop is not portable because the battery will not stay charged. So, if I am invited somewhere the answer is probably, "I'm sorry, I cannot go anywhere." It does not hurt to ask me though or inform me about any exciting events.
I am single and need as much help as I can get. I ask if anyone can help me move my room, I do not get a response. I asked dad if I could get some assistance with a branch. I have a branch that will rip a cable off my roof and then there will be a hole.
I called Centurylink, nobody called me back. I am at a loss. I am helpless. My lawnmower quit working today. My friends are vanishing. Not that it mattered anyway, the disease ridden rodent has not called me for four years. I hate people who talk behind my back, so to spite them I do it right back.
So, dad was supposed to call me. He never did. I called and I was told he went to Oregon to visit Tim and go to a wedding for one of Aunt Sandy's kids. I was told he told everyone and quiet surprisingly not me. Really?
Why continue this childish Maughan feud? You really want to drag me into this vicious cycle? You people really sicken me. I never did shit. It is bad enough people are not talking to me but members of my own family?
I am not surprised that Aunt Sherry did not have a funeral. Maybe she did and I was not informed of that either. Why force me to be a recluse?
Dad did not tell me anything and did not call until today. Guess what? I did not answer. I am probably not going to answer ever again.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Canada
As Vancouver was hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, here are some silly questions that were asked by people from all over the world. Believe it or not, these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Web site. Obviously the answers are not to be taken seriously, but the questions were indeed asked and are now another addition to the collection of Canadian jokes!
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
There you have it, pure sarcasm as part of these Canadian jokes.
http://www.swanparadise.com/Canadian-Jokes.html
Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (England)
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.
Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.
Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto. Can I follow the Railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only 4,000 miles, take lots of water.
Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.
Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (England)
A: What, did your last slave die?
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North… oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.
Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (England)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-ma-ny, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: No, WE don't stink.
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can I sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.
Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Only at Thanksgiving.
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is illegal.
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
There you have it, pure sarcasm as part of these Canadian jokes.
http://www.swanparadise.com/Canadian-Jokes.html
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Dear Sprint
This is how Sprint works. The moment you get the phone, you automatically get an agreement. They refuse to replace the phone if you do not have insurance, it does not matter how new the phone is. If you have a problem, customer service will antagonize you. Each rep will treat you like garbage.
I have purchased insurance. THEY REPLACE IT WITH THE SAME PIECE OF CRAP PHONE. It is the insurance policy to replace the crappy model with the same thing. They replaced it three times. I removed the insurance because nobody was helping me. This has been the routine every single month for the past year.
They referred me to LG. LG gives me the run around. Sprint is wasting my time. I have told them numerous times I have to go to school and I cannot communicate with ANYONE because this phone is crap. Sprint wants me to spend more money on crap that I do not need. Sprint told me I should buy another phone. FUCK NO. Every single detail is being printed and mailed to Sprint corporate office, BBB, and the Attorney General. Sprint is a nightmare and Rumor Touch ruined my life.
I have every receipt and e-mail from all of this crap. I keep telling you people to waive the agreement. At this point, it is too late to save yourself. I have told you people that the phone is garbage. I have told you what I need and your company could not do it's job. I am posting this information in as many places that I can fathom.
I have purchased insurance. THEY REPLACE IT WITH THE SAME PIECE OF CRAP PHONE. It is the insurance policy to replace the crappy model with the same thing. They replaced it three times. I removed the insurance because nobody was helping me. This has been the routine every single month for the past year.
They referred me to LG. LG gives me the run around. Sprint is wasting my time. I have told them numerous times I have to go to school and I cannot communicate with ANYONE because this phone is crap. Sprint wants me to spend more money on crap that I do not need. Sprint told me I should buy another phone. FUCK NO. Every single detail is being printed and mailed to Sprint corporate office, BBB, and the Attorney General. Sprint is a nightmare and Rumor Touch ruined my life.
I have every receipt and e-mail from all of this crap. I keep telling you people to waive the agreement. At this point, it is too late to save yourself. I have told you people that the phone is garbage. I have told you what I need and your company could not do it's job. I am posting this information in as many places that I can fathom.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
For the Love of Pete, SHUT UP
It has been ten years since my first week at Boise West Carwash. It has been ten years since air planes were the horror in every person's dream. It has been ten years since they played the footage over and over again for hours straight for days.
The news for some reason cannot get enough of terrorizing viewers. Every single day for the past ten years, they have played the smoking towers. Every day, they play footage of the airplanes colliding with the buildings.
When they play this footage, they are airing people getting murdered. When they air this footage, they are airing people dieing. They are showing people falling to their death. Knock it off. It is already FRIED into our brains. For the ten year anniversary, I would like to not see that footage EVER again. Not to be insensitive, we get the point. Stop playing it and give people their dignity.
It appears that people care more about World Trade Center. What about the other flights. Wasn't one at the Pentagon? We are so obsessed with media addict New York. I can imagine what history books will look like. "The tragic events happened to the World Trade Center. Oh and by the way, the last plane crashed in a field."
The only detail I like is that people are airing stories of survival and putting lives back together again. I have been reading stories about what people are going through mentally and physically. I saw a story about a search and rescue dog that retired. A lady looking for her fiance during the tragic event got married.
The news for some reason cannot get enough of terrorizing viewers. Every single day for the past ten years, they have played the smoking towers. Every day, they play footage of the airplanes colliding with the buildings.
When they play this footage, they are airing people getting murdered. When they air this footage, they are airing people dieing. They are showing people falling to their death. Knock it off. It is already FRIED into our brains. For the ten year anniversary, I would like to not see that footage EVER again. Not to be insensitive, we get the point. Stop playing it and give people their dignity.
It appears that people care more about World Trade Center. What about the other flights. Wasn't one at the Pentagon? We are so obsessed with media addict New York. I can imagine what history books will look like. "The tragic events happened to the World Trade Center. Oh and by the way, the last plane crashed in a field."
The only detail I like is that people are airing stories of survival and putting lives back together again. I have been reading stories about what people are going through mentally and physically. I saw a story about a search and rescue dog that retired. A lady looking for her fiance during the tragic event got married.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
PoF
Random stranger: Hello how are you?
After looking at his profile: Disappointed that someone like you has the gumption to send me a message when it says I want someone my age and you are old enough to be my father.
Seriously, are guys my age looking for minors on the Internet? People are hopeless. I read through the Idaho Statesman about online dating. The only thing I accessed were long lists of people who entice young children to meet them. A huge majority of the list were men starting at the age of 30.
There are no good guys. All the good guys are married. All the bad ones are cheating on their wife. I don't want to take my chances. Knowing my luck, if I ever get married, I will be cheated on. Or he may just vanish and never speak to me again.
I have been busy. I have a picky instructor again. I bust my hump to turn in a paper I enjoyed writing only to get an 85.
I need help moving my room. Just in case Mike bails on me. I asked about rent, he got grumpy. He was complaining last time how hard it is to get a job to deliver some stuff. This is making me nervous.
In other news, I am collecting Colin Farrell. I have In Bruges, Ondine, The New World, and Tigerland. If anyone has a spare Colin Farrell movie they want to get rid of, send them my way.
After looking at his profile: Disappointed that someone like you has the gumption to send me a message when it says I want someone my age and you are old enough to be my father.
Seriously, are guys my age looking for minors on the Internet? People are hopeless. I read through the Idaho Statesman about online dating. The only thing I accessed were long lists of people who entice young children to meet them. A huge majority of the list were men starting at the age of 30.
There are no good guys. All the good guys are married. All the bad ones are cheating on their wife. I don't want to take my chances. Knowing my luck, if I ever get married, I will be cheated on. Or he may just vanish and never speak to me again.
I have been busy. I have a picky instructor again. I bust my hump to turn in a paper I enjoyed writing only to get an 85.
I need help moving my room. Just in case Mike bails on me. I asked about rent, he got grumpy. He was complaining last time how hard it is to get a job to deliver some stuff. This is making me nervous.
In other news, I am collecting Colin Farrell. I have In Bruges, Ondine, The New World, and Tigerland. If anyone has a spare Colin Farrell movie they want to get rid of, send them my way.
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