Forced to Live In Silence

I have not had television for three years now. I shut off my DirecTv when I was terminated for making the economy tank. I got a radio from their total rewards program. Being stupid, I got rid of another radio that was on it's last legs. I should have kept it because the new radio quit working. I do not like using my computer as a CD player because most of the programs I use require a disc. So, I spend much time in silence and there is a reason I need the television to be on. So, NO, I cannot turn it down or shut it off. One of my birthdays, Paul got me a radio. (Probably got the money from something of mine he sold.) It was fine, but the wires were messed up. One speaker works one day and the other the next. Sometimes both of the speakers function. Then one day, neither speaker worked. FINE. At this point, I did not have a television or radio. I am alone at home in complete silence. My dogs do not make very much noise. I played games online to take my mind off of it. I get more pissed off at people that called themselves friends because I got isolated. I finally graduate. I get a gift card for Walmart. I rarely shop there because the food goes bad as soon as you slide the debit card through the machine. I decide to get a stereo that changed discs. BIG MISTAKE. I only had the stereo for 11 days and it already broke. One of the discs fell under the platter and now I cannot get it out. The only thing I hope is that they do not give me the run around with this piece of crap electronic. I want my money back and they owe me a disc. I will take the money and purchase a stereo from Hastings. They at least have something that plays cassette tapes.

Got Some Exploren To Do

Had another vacation and not very many people to contact. I believe that vacation is disappointing. I haven't been anywhere in nearly three years. I have been home doing distance learning. My social life is so bad, I would rather work on my birthday. I wanted to go camping before I begin paying for my new loan. So far, I have had two weeks of free time and nothing happened. Yesterday, I was overwhelmed with disappointment. I had discovered some interesting information in a traditional life "magazine" that I found at Albertson's. The magazine contained a list of various places to have a picnic or hike or whatever. I found one on the list that had native paintings. The website claims that there are places to camp. I decided to go and see if it was over rated. I had no idea this area of Idaho existed. NEVER trust Mapquest because it is ran by idiots. How come it cannot say, simply take 12th Avenue? No, it says take Dewey to Fern to Holly to Greenhurst...pretty much drive around in a great big circle. Morons. I was already pissed off and even more enraged at the crappy instructions and the waste of paper. So, I took 12th Avenue or street...whichever has Walmart on it. I drove all the way until it turned into a highway. As soon as I turn onto Melba, I was amazed that I never knew about this area. There were fields of large lava rocks that randomly had cattle. I made it to Celebration Park and noticed lizards zipping across the road. I did not notice anywhere to camp unless I had a RV. I think it would be too uncomfortable in a tent. I wandered through an archery range and hiked through the large, hot boulders. I would not say that they have paintings, I would say that they are carvings. It was an interesting trip that is only a half an hour away from the house. It was kind of a lazy day yesterday. I got quite a bit done. I painted the front door and the front window. Things are beginning to look better. I began to paint the extra room today. I will finish the rest when I am more motivated. I went looking for a place to get more ink. Perhaps the sun god of Aten...

Happy Day!

Sorry, I have been a while. Been busy making preparations and being lazy at the same time. I have been busy shooing off the people who want me to continue my education. I will when I have a man in my life (which will be never) and when I am making more money. It will certainly not be University of Phoenix because they are backstabbing bastards. For now, I will take my associates and run. Graduation day was interesting. I was bummed out before I left for the ceremony. I was putting in the ruby earings that Grandma gave me for my birthday and it slipped from my fingers. To this day, I haven't found it. I'm too afraid to vacuum the floor now.I arrived about an hour early in case traffic was horrific. I wandered around the premises. I pondered why in the world did I do this and would I ever torture myself like this again. This was the largest graduating class they ever had; someone said it was a class of 340. The faculty were having a difficult time arranging the alumni for photos. This was the first time they had a ceremony in the Centurylink Arena. The speeches were annoying because it sounded like a bunch of people trying to sell more garbage.I was wondering what that roll of paper was going to say. As I unrolled it I thought, "Are you sure you do not want to further your education?" Nope, just junk mentioning I must fill out my documents to receive my real degree...I already got it. Lately, I have been looking at lists of jobs. Of course, the UoP member that is sending them to me is only sending me information on jobs that require a Bachelor's. The university cries about the Frontline report, but you cannot deny the recorded footage because that is exactly what they do. Talk about a catch 22. Anyway, an associate of mine pointed out a state job. It pays really well, I am crossing my fingers. I won't hold my breath because they use programs like GIS, which I have no experience in. It would be exciting and fun to participate in preserving Idaho history. Otherwise, I will just be a wishful thinker struggling to pay for a degree that I obtained for no reason. I had some fun after the ceremony. I didn't have a chance to get more photo opportunities. I brought my camera and got a larger SD card...oh well. I met with dad to go to Red Robin. I would have begged for some Japanese, but I was already taken out for Thai at my favorite place on Garrity.

Happy Mother's Day!

Done

My final grades have posted. I got an A in both classes. At this point, I feel lost. I really do not know what I went to school for. I feel somewhat lost without it. I would be lost even more if I continued to attend and build up more debt for no reason. I was lead to believe that school was going to better my life. The country has been force fed to believe that it was the best thing to do and everyone fled to college. Did everyone know the reason? No. As University of Phoenix keeps asking me if I am considering continuing, I keep my mouth shut because I am exhausted from telling them no. I look at my house and become exhausted because it has been ruined from lack of maintenance. I am exhausted from cleaning up after the unnecessary maintenance. I sit in my house alone in silence with my dogs as my only audience wondering where all the good men are. I think about how many people treated me like garbage and that I am single because I am filtering out all the bad people. I have never been married. I am done with school because my life fell apart because I could not drop what I was doing. I am single because I could not stop what I was doing. I have been doing nothing but cleaning up everything. I spent four hours refinishing the bedroom floor that reeked of body odor. I am learning to be extremely biased. I have to reorganize my cupboards and I have some stuff on the house to repaint. I still have a hole in the front yard to fill. I have to redo a sidewalk because it is dangerous to mow in that area. Every day I have to be reminded of how much heart ache I am in. Even though I dumped Paul, his stupidity lingers in my house. I keep finding letters that I wrote to him telling him to leave that I never gave him. I watch the videos and look at the pictures of the damage in awe in how much I have cleaned and fixed. I am reminded all the time that I do not want another soul living in my house, but I still have to find a new room mate. This is going to take several months because I have to be beyond bias. The time off was wasted on things that I was prevented from resolving. I remember how much I hate it here every time I go outside or go online. My house smells like cat waste. I have the sloppy left overs of people I knew before stalking me. I had to block one because he was trying to manipulate me into going out with him. That is another thing. Many men have shown disrespect for me getting an education. This tells me that they want me to be a home maker...that is not me because I am independent. What is my calling in life? Do I want to put on a cape and save the world? I want to educate the world. Another Great Depression is coming toward us in a form of a tsunami. People are ignoring it. I want to tell people of the three dumbest mistakes I have made. Bought a house where there is no work, dated an asshole, and went to school when a degree lost it's worth.

August 19

Nora Jones will be playing in the Botanical Gardens. I think this would be stinking cool and I really want to go. Who else?

Final Week!