I want you guys to know what I am feeling. I want people to know that I did not go off for no reason. Should I be ashamed? Probably. However, I really do not care because I have been tolerating a ton and not saying too much. So, I live in a money pit now. I have a huge hole around a tree stump in the front yard. I did not dig that nor did I ask. I have a hole above the door. I have fences in places that I need to take them down. I did not do any of that. I have caulking around my windows that I am having a hard time removing without damaging the windows.
It is bad enough I am emotionally hung over. In the beginning of this carnival, my garbage can was missing. It was across the street. I had to argue to get what I pay for every other month back. If my yard was inside a house that I could lock, I would be happy.
He was borrowing my hose, sprinkler, and lawnmower...without asking first. I feel like I am being used. Much like being stolen from by Sandy like she did my guy. It was her that was bringing him gifts before I dumped him. He got a new watch and new clothes. There is no way I am going to believe that it was platonic.
I told him, ask me first. Put it back and the answer is no. He is sneaky about returning the items. He does not come and say hello and he does even say thank-you. Why does he feel the need to walk all over me?
Then, he posted pictures of engagement rings. Oh la dee da, my daughter deserves a good mother and blah, blah, blah. That is it, I am tired of this. That arrogant prick told me that I was cheating on him all the time. So, I went off on him. I will be damn sure that they do not cross my path ever again.
I ranted and I posted the video. He goes off how I am threatening him. The phrase was specifically that he ruined my home and I hope she has insurance for the damage that he will do to hers. He said that was a threat. He told me that he recorded everything and will take it to the police. For what? I was not threatening anyone. And he thinks he can tell me what videos to post? What? Incriminating evidence of the crap I am enduring from him? Go ahead, I tell him. That only will give me leverage.
I told me to not have anyone associated with me to contact him. Excuse me? I never told anyone to contact him. People had my back at their own will. I told him that they are not welcome on my property ever again and I certainly did not like seeing her in my backyard. He told me that since I went off, he will not fix what he damaged. Um, yeah, and perhaps I can take him to small claims...thinking about it.
So, he was also avoiding available jobs and trying really hard to get the job with the government. I asked him, "What if they don't hire you?" He refused to answer the question. 8/20 came and went, I asked him, when are you supposed to pay me back? He stated, "When I get a job, dumb, dumb." I asked him about the one job. He said things don't always work as planned. I told him, "That is is exactly what I said, wasn't it?"...dumb dumb.
When will this ever stop? They are across the freaking street. It feels so demeaning. It makes me more and more mad thinking about everything that I have to fix and all the time I do not have to do it. I feel incredibly stupid for even helping him or dating him. I should have let him leave the first time he went off on me about crap that had nothing to do with him. Coulda, shoulda, woulda.
I am glad we are not together. The whole situation feels condescending, coniving, and unforgiveable. I just wish I dumped him sooner before he wrecked my home.
On a positive note, I have a room mate moving in soon. There is a new opening for the position that I want. I just hope I don't get burned out before I can get it.
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