Anger

Maybe this month can be a series of "A's"? No, I am just having a rough time. I feel threatened all the time. The more I feel threatened the more anxiety I feel. Then we have Paul.
He is someone that does not know me very well, at all. I am almost willing to leave him in the dust. I have vowed the next time he sends me a message about something that I should NOT be stressed about he is being dumped. I keep telling him, "Hello? High stress job no sending texts while I am on my way and no more sending texts while I am working." Granted the phone is off, but I have things to get done during breaks and there is a message about him wanting to leave because of something he misunderstood and fails to understand because of his ignorance.
He did it again. And again. He keeps reading things on Myspace and dwells on myyearbook which I already deleted. He seems to think that I can delete my past. I know he can't. Do I stress out on him about his past? No, we experience things that we experience.
I talk about friends and family. I rarely talk about work. I rarely mention anything about people that I have been involved with. I write. I don't have anything else to do but work, run errands, and write. I don't have any time to bother with other people.
I have these old photos on Myspace with old comments that may have been posted over a year ago. I don't remember comments. He throws a tizzy fit about a naughty comment. Big whoop, I forgot that was even there I also forgot about the guy.
Paul seems to think that James was on my friends list on Myspace. He dwells on that. I keep telling him James was never on Myspace hence he was NEVER on my friends list. Duh. The more he does this the more I hate his guts.
He recently had a conniption fit about a poem I wrote on writerscafe. I wrote about my feeling on my past and my future and about how people try to control my thoughts and my destiny. Which Paul is trying to do is control what I say and write and what I have done in the past. I am so mad at him. He says he says it is what it is. He keeps twisting things around where I am saying something scandalous. I was not and people who know me best would understand what the poem meant. Give me a break and get the hell out of MY house.
He tried to give me a guilt trip about him spending all of his money and now he would have to go home broke. I never asked him to spend money on me. It was never my idea to go look at rings.
He has trust issues and keeps referring to other girls. I have told him multiple times that I am me and he has to let me be me. If I slip up and say the wrong word at the right moment, I try to laugh it up. Sometimes my miswording is pretty funny. He picked on me about that and told me that I pretty much deliberately said what I said. Excuse the fuck out of me.
I am feeling very stressed because of this. I go to work to have the same conversations about misjudgement, bad service, and people hating an experience. The only difference between the customer and Paul is that I can chew him out and not get fired for it. I can drop him on his fanny. He does it again and I am going to be single. He doesn't need me, he needs a Helen Keller.