Can You Relate?

I watch these shows that I never would have appreciated in the past. There is 27 Dresses where a girl has all of these dresses from all of these weddings and hopelessly never had her own. There is Bridget Jones Diary where Bridget is a single, chunky, 30some lady who is stuck between whether to go with the good boy or the bad boy.
There are many movies like this. I'm trying to remember another movie. I have been to a few weddings. Some where I was formally invited and some where I would be invited at the spur of the moment by mouth.
I keep going to baby showers. I have so much fun at Baby's R Us looking for goodies. I was there just a few days ago thinking, gee look at all of this nice neat stuff. Everything is so neat, clean, and organized. Just think, it's not as serene as the objects are. This all would become a disorganized wreck.
It almost seems like I can put a humbug to the wedding spirit. I don't feel like getting married. I look at all this fun stuff to put together for the ceremony and have some pretty cool ideas. The whole thing seems obnoxiously priced. I watched Platinum Weddings and watched how these people would spend copious amounts of money just to get the look and tradition they wanted.
Just my luck, with men just up and going, I would assume that if I was to get married my husband would mysteriously vanish. Where'd he go? Oh, it was a marriage with benefits!
It doesn't occur to Paul that I don't have that same feeling for him. He wants to get married to me. I don't feel the spirit. This day in age and the situation that is going on, it just wouldn't be able to happen.
He has been looking for a job since December and my job is at stake. I am trying to take care of my home and keep it. He can't get into the picture and nor would anyone else be able to. As much as he wants to. He does take care of the house and my projects. Not in the order I would like them to be.