I'm So Hot My Stalkers Are in Therapy Groups

Or however it goes. Sometimes I have stalkers and don't even know it. People don't just up to me and tell me that they like me or hate me. I don't think they want to know what the results are if they dislike me.
Tonya better watch her back, that is all I have to say. She has a jealousy issue. I'm hotter and I have her boyfriend. BFD. There are plenty of fish in the sea you stinky skanky cow.
Last night, a branch was ripped from my tree. I really don't give a hoot but it upset Paul a little. I could really care less because I don't want that tree to be there let alone the branches.
Today, on my way home I was on the phone with Paul and he told me that something was keeping Leslie from putting the key in the door knob. He also told me that Tonya wrote him a message. She told him that he was seeing me and that we hit it off pretty good. She also asked him if we had seen any mail. Quite strange. He was able to get into my house and Leslie was not.
I put my key into the doorknob and my key would not go in all the way in. Something was broken in the doorknob. I have reason to believe that it is Tonya.
I called the police. There is supposed to be someone coming and taking a look and extra patrol in the area. I have someone I am going to call tomorrow about keeping an eye on my house.
I am not impressed. I think people are trying to make me move but I cannot move. I don't have a way to sell my house and leave because of the economy. I haven't even been here for three years yet. It better not be her because she will have a black, stormy cloud heading her way.