Once Upon A Time...

In a town called Emmett, it used to snow hard. We were knee deep in snow. Then one day, people who thought there was opportunity in Idaho started to move in. Then all these houses were built and traffic got high. The sky became more polluted and we are lucky when we see snow. We are lucky if snow stays for about a week.
I have met all kinds of people. I remember when I worked at Boise West, a lady and her little boy were fascinated with the snow. I asked them what was so incredible about it. They were from Arizona and never have seen snow before. I learned something about Arizona. It made me wonder if they were confused by the song Let It Snow whenever they heard it.
People often ask me if it snows up here. Well, yes, if you are further north in Idaho. Snow these days will melt within the same day that it fell. Paul is from Minnesota and he is always talking about how much snow is over there. There is something that he doesn't understand. It used to be that way here to.
Back when I was a kid, snow stuck around for what seemed like an eternity. I used to sled down a hill in front of the house. Dad would shovel the snow from the drive way and pile it all onto the front yard. I had this cool sled that was a blue sheet of plastic that rolled up. This sled was super slick. I would slide so fast down the hill. At one point we made some kind of a snow wall that was beside the hill. It was fun. I would slide down the hill and up the side of the wall. That didn't last long. Mom made that stop because the wall went into the road.
I also went over to Butte View and played on the playground. They used to have this hug slide that went up a hill. A bunch of kids and I would go there and sled down the hill. I lost interest because too many kids were going and it was nothing but sand at one point.
Snow was fun for school. During recess the kids would make snow angels. They also would roll snow into these gigantic snow balls. I sometimes would make a snow fort without the walls.
I used to love snow. Then I learned how to drive. I can drive in the snow. I am just more worried about the moron in front of me. It never fails when the first snow flake falls. Some idiot that has never driven in it before, gets into an accident. When driving in snow, don't hit the breaks so freaking much.
I used to work in the snow as well. I worked at two different car washes in about three winter seasons. You would think they are seasonal. They are open year round. When you drive in snow, you get this greasy mess on your car. Idaho puts this ice melt crap on the road that eats your rims and puts a mess all over your car. It's disgusting. So, the car wash is open. It was dead during these days. We would spend the day scrubbing the walls or shoveling the lot. Working there caused a great deal of damage to my skin on my face. I have sun damage from the summer and wind damage from the winter.
The days of snow slowly faded away. I hardly noticed it. There was a day when mom and I were out and about. It was on a day when it was supposed to be snowing. We pondered on if it was going to snow ever again. Not too long after there had been some good snow days. I still don't see as much snow as I used to. Who knows? We might get lucky here. It has been snowing at random. It snowed once in October and in November. This might be a pretty good winter.

The Three Wisepeople

When I was growing up in Emmett, I was in musicals. I was in so many. There were pageants in school as well as church. I don't really know how many I was in. I know I wasn't in anymore plays since moving to Boise.
I was in the land of Oz twice. I dated Oz in the second round. Oz (Charles) was in a vampire movie that was made here in Idaho by people in Idaho. Mom didn't go to my last play. According to Mr. Schnieder, there weren't going to be anymore plays. Come to find out, he directed more plays. He just had to give his son an opportunity, right?
That is the thing about parents who put plays together. They shouldn't. Plays should be put together by students. This way, everyone can have a fair chance. I can't tell you how many big parts the Schafers got. Mrs. Schafer was the one that made the costumes in the play. It's a conspiracy. I didn't hate them. I like the Schafer kids. I just didn't get why their mother had control of all of the productions.
Another thing about a play is that there are no small parts, just small people. I think that is how it goes. Maybe it is there are no small parts, just small brains. No, that's not it either. When someone was cast in a part that they were offended by, they try the powers that be to get out of that role...and steal mine.
There was one musical I was in at Butte View. I don't remember what it was about. I guess we were all playing a bunch of farm animals. I was cast as a blue bird. I think I got my part down. Then suddenly, Gina didn't want to be the pig. She was a pretty good sized girl and it probably offended her that she was cast as the pig. Guess who they pick for a change to take place? Me. They didn't even ask either. They told me that I was going to be the pig. Hell no, I was already the bird. I was infuriated. I fought and kept my role as the bird. I think she kept her role as the pig. I can't remember.
This was no different in church. When I was in "Teens", we were doing a Christmas pageant. Some way or another Mrs. Elwood had control of the casting. I think her name is Terry. I was cast as one of the three wise men along with another girl. They made it look like some fiasco. Terry said that there was no such thing as a woman wise man. Me and the other girl were changed to shepherds. I didn't know that they had women as shepherds either. This gets interesting. Come time for the play, her daughter Tammy was cast as one of the wisemen. Nobody was allowed to say anything about it either. That was a time when I should have stood up for myself as well.
Mrs. Elwood is stuck up. If I was to pick anyone to be in charge of anything, it certainly would not be her. She showed that she is a two-faced chauvinist pig. It could tick off anyone that thinks highly of her. I don't think highly of her.

People Think I'm the Nut?

I may be a sinner. I haven't attended church on a regular basis since I was 13. I have been to church a couple of times since then. Once on a Sunday when I was invited. I once went to church at midnight on Christmas Eve. That was pretty nice.
I liked going to church sometimes. I never got why I had to go when my parents didn't. That is why I quit going. That and some of the people were stuck up. Don't believe me? I can tell you a story about Mrs. Elwood. Maybe in another blog. I think these next few blogs I will talk about winter and Christmas.
I like to listen to obscene music. I like to collect obscene movies. I swear on occasion. I don't drink or smoke that often. I never did drugs. Some people are shocked by this. How come people are shocked that I never did drugs? I will let everyone know now, I never felt an interest in it. Do I feel curious about drugs? RARELY.
Some may call me agnostic. Some people think I am a Mormon. I am a Nazarene. Some people are shocked by this as well. Yes, I used to go to church. I used to dress up in cute dresses. Like many outside of this region that don't know what a Mormon is, some people don't know what a Nazarene is. Honestly, I don't know what one is either. When I watch the Simpsons, their church reminds me of the Nazarene church. If that gives you an idea, good. If not, try Little House on the Prairie.
I am an open minded person. After reading about Mormon history, I have respect for them. I really don't care for the religion but I respect those who are Mormon. I even have an interest in religion from other countries. I have respect for anyone who follows whatever religion they wish. To me, they are all alike. All of them worship God. If I was become a regular at a church and take my pick I think I would be Lutheran or Jewish. I think it would be fun to be Jewish. I have a friend who is Jewish and when she talks about religious get togethers, I am in awe.
I am not going to be visiting any church anytime soon. I am not in the mood to be standing up every so often to sing from a hymnal. It's not me. It all feels so, cheesy. I don't know if I believe in God or not. I do believe that we were made by something powerful. I watched a show on meteors one day. In some country, people gather around a meteor and worship it. It inspired me to write a story one day. I think I have it somewhere on writers cafe. Maybe I'll post it for you guys. You might like it.
You might be wondering why I am blogging about religion today. Okay, I'll get to the point here in a minute. I only have about five channels that are in English. I have nothing but educational and religious programming. The channels I have are making me think a little. I know why I am picking up just a few channels from the antenna. The government thinks the people who didn't get a converter box are stupid. For those who could not get a converter box, we are being educated. That's my take on it. Okay, moving forward.
Peggy Kilgore was one of my Sunday school teachers. She was also a teacher of mine in school. Wow! I sound like one of those people from the country. There was one day that she was talking to the Sunday school class about the end of the world. It is pretty funny in a way. A Sunday school teacher will talk to you about Armageddon the same way a parent will talk to you about sex. (I bet you didn't know Armageddon is an actual town either, did ya?)
The end of the world seems like a weird thing to me. Every time I turn around, churches will put a sign up saying Jesus is coming. People freak out about the silliest things. Remember the 2000 bug? Get a grip! I can easily see how we can think that the end is near. Was life ever easy here? No, it wasn't. I believe that we can put an end to the world. I think it will be caused by us humans. Yeah, we could possibly all be wiped out from a pandemic. One person could just slip up at a job and/or in a public place and get everyone else around them sick. I believe that we just might up and blow each other sky high. There are probably enough atomic bombs to blow up the whole entire solar system. We could get hit by a huge meteor. We might pollute the Earth so bad we all might end up dead from it. Minus the meteor, we don't have anything to worry about if we start being responsible.
Getting back to the very few channels I have. I was surfing through to see if there was anything interesting. I ran across these kits for sale along with a bunch of other crap. The kits were enough to keep one person fed a couple of years. These were in case of the event of the rapture. What?! That's right, the rapture. This was on the religious channel I have. (Unless I have the Hellivision channel). Yeah, I better get right on that one because I am going to be left behind. Just like everyone else on this stinking planet. Well, except for Ned Flanders and Peggy Kilgore.

To My Amusement

There are people out there that try to lie to me. I think it is the most funny thing. I am perfectly capable of seeing past a lie. I have so much experience, I should be a lie detector. What gives someone the gumption to think I am gullible?
I have known Athena since she was about 12. The very first day I met her was when I went to visit dad one day. He had these strange people in his house. I think we all went to do something that day. I can't really remember. I was up all night talking to Athena.
She did most of the talking. I just sat there listening to her stories. Her tales were so tall I found it entertaining. I think she should use all of that energy to write books. I knew from day one she was a liar. Within minutes, I knew she was full of shit.
Everyone knows she is full of it. To my astonishment, she still attempts to lie to everyone. It's fascinating that she will still do that. Many, many, many people know what the real story is. I won't tell the secret of how I know. That would only make her better. Pathological liars are the dumbest people on the planet. I don't know why anyone says someone is a "pathological liar". Why put it that way. Such a huge word makes them sound like they are a pro at being a liar. If your a pro, aren't you supposed to be able to lie and get away with it?
Paul and I went to dad's house the day before yesterday. To my knowledge, dad picked her up. From what Justin told me, Athena is supposed to be going to a hospice for alcoholics. I have no idea when though. Probably never because, well you know how my dad is.
Athena was there at his house when we arrived. These days, I'm in a very inquisitive stage. I question everything. I think there are a ton of dumb people in the world and I am smarter than them. I'm passing my classes with flying colors right now. Do you blame me?
Dad and Paul go outside to work on the car. I am sitting in the kitchen working on my paper that is due Friday. Athena comes out of hiding and starts talking to me. Remember, I am inquisitive right now and I am working on something.
She is aware of me being jobless. I have employment coming up. She goes off saying that she is going to school and is studying something that has something to do with the mind. Really? I wonder if she meant psychology. Then she told me that she was going to be working for the prison. Quite quickly she said that she never thought that she would be a cop. Hmm, with a criminal history??
I looked at her and asked, "Really? What school is this through?"
She paused. I know she was trying to think of something quick. She stammered, "It's Browns? I was going to do that Steven Henniger college. I'm just trying it for a couple of days to see what I think of it."
I told her, "Never heard of it."
She finally went back to her room. I really doubt you can try a college and see how you like it. Nice try. I asked dad if she was really going to school. No, she is not. I hate when people try to lie. It makes them look like an idiot.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today, I have a lot to be happy for. I am grateful for a fun and cool as beans family. I cannot thank them enough for the support I have from them.
I am grateful for an interesting fellow that has been helping around the house. He has done a ton of work around the house. He also has helped take care of my animals and cheer up Frank.
I am grateful for my loyal companion. Frank does not start drama. He doesn't chew stuff up or dig holes in the yard.
I am thankful for having cool friends.
I am thankful that I have the experience that will open the door for good paying employment opportunities.
I am thankful for an interesting online schooling option.
I will be going to mom's today. I am hoping that there is no delay. At the last second last night, Paul asked me if his daughter can stay over. I am thinking, sure but where is she going to stay? How on earth is she going to get back home? I can't drive to Hailey. As much as I would like to go.
I sent notification that we were bringing the munchkin over. We picked her up from McDonnald's. She loved the cat. Logan loved the attention. I gathered all of my kid movies. I dug around for some toys. I couldn't get my Barbies because Dino lives on top of their box. We stayed up all night watching Disney cartoons. I didn't get any sleep because she slept between us. I kept on waking up to a little foot in my side.
I think Paul is coming to the conclusion that I am a big kid. He didn't know I had a bunch of kids movies. He didn't even know I had some toys sitting in random areas. I have lots of old toys. I have prizes from Happy Meals, cereal box prizes, the old rubber Care Bears, Jem and the Holigrams, Barbie, My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite, and much much more.
Now, I am going to see if I can get them up so we can make it in time for mom's shin dig.

This Happens Too Much

Cramming to get everything done may be bad for me. Don't get me wrong. I have been trying everything in my power to take breaks from the computer. I am writing a story, it probably will not be ready til after Thanksgiving. I have a lot to do.
I have to gather my financial crap together so I can see how I can manage my house payments. I have to get into my 401k again. I have a ton of questions about the new fund. I have to speak to the Idaho Department of Labor and see what the delay is. I would find another job however, I don't think it would be long enough a stay with the new job on the way. I have to find out where the other bills went to for my emergency visit in September. I have to talk to the health department to see if there are any new developments in the investigation.
To top it all off, and to stay sane, I have been cleaning house. The fridge needed to be cleaned really bad. I cleaned the bathroom. I cleaned up the floor in the living room a bit. I think I may move some stuff around so I can clean the whole floor. I am thinking of rummaging through some one's room to find stolen goods. Just in case he decides to bail. By the way, all of my silverware appeared out of nowhere after I posted the rules.
Yesterday, I made the margarita bites. It was so much fun. I remembered some roast beef that mom gave me. I made my first roast beef with some carrots, cucumbers, beef broth, and Mrs. Dash in my little crock pot. I spent pretty much the whole day in the kitchen. Then I rested because I was so stinking tired. Today, I made a key lime pie. I think this one will be my best yet!
Tomorrow, I start up with the schooling again. I have a paper to post and two responses to make. Then the next day, I have a discussion question to answer and two more responses to students. Then on Thanksgiving, I have another paper due. No worries. I will have the paper finished and posted before I head over to mom's.
What has been making this whole paper thing bad is that I have a sleeping issue. Whenever I have a schedule, I wake up in a frenzy. I know I get things done. I try not to forget anything. I know last month I forgot to pay my phone bill, I thought I paid it. This morning, I thought I forgot to turn in something in school. I quickly got out of bed worried about a mystery assignment. My heart was racing. Paul even got up trying to figure out what was wrong. He went back to bed. When I went to turn on the computer, I realized I already have assignments done and ready to submit. I was so scared even my tongue was beating. I think I swallowed my heart.
I don't think it is stress from school. Maybe I am stressed out because I don't know if I will get grammar, puncuation, and commas down? I have been having a ton of fun in there. I go there to get away from it all. I think I am more stressed about money right now. I'm worried about the unemployment stuff. That idiot Zack is stressing me out. There is stress there. I wish that call centers hired a little faster than a couple of weeks. I think Proactive Solutions is going to be fun.

Gone for the Holiday

I am going to be knee deep in school. While one class is taking Thanksgiving off, the other one is not. So, I have to have my work done by Thanksgiving. I may be absent from here for a while.
I am going to be needing to practice getting up earlier in the morning. From what I was calculating, I will need to be up for work at about 4:30am. This will be going on for about two weeks. Hopefully, that will change with a shift bid.
I am also working on my unemployment stuff. I had a problem with submitting it today. I am left wondering since I cannot call anyone. Why do they recommend doing that on a Sunday anyway? I'm thinking of submitting my claims on Monday so I can speak to someone if I mess up.
While I am going through all of this fun stuff, I am also going to be working on things for Thanksgiving. Mom asked me to bring a pie. I am going to make a key lime pie. I am also going to make some margarita bites. I'm going to try my best anyway. I went grocery shopping at the lowest priced place I could go to. They didn't have anymore of that Jello I wanted.
For now, I am off. I have a busy day tomorrow.

2nd Holiday List

Here is some stuff that I would like to see that is either out or is coming soon. If you want to avoid the Twilight garbage, here is a list of stuff that looks good. The Blind Side is playing in theaters as we speak.

Sandra Bullock isn't my personal hero. She has been in some good movies lately.



This looks really cute. I think mom is going to want to watch this one.



This one, I think we could be able to live without. I like Jude Law and I don't like Robert Downey Jr. This might be better than it seems.



This one looks like something you would find at The Flicks. Looks pretty good.



This one is getting all the rave. Someone is saying Oscar.

Escaping in My Head

I am chilling today. My dad, he needs backbone. He went to pick up the beast. I was about ready last night to kick Zack out on his fanny. Paul needs to be lectured as well. He told me not to say anything to Zack last night, I really should have said something. Who's house is this anyway?
I was working away on the computer. I was trying my hardest to make my paper work. I decided to finally remove the first sentence that was causing me such anguish. Jeremiah comes knocking on the door.
The dog was locked in the room and causing noise. I gave him the go ahead to let her out. I thought it was just her and I thought it was unusual to be making noise. Then I saw who was being loud. There was another dog that belonged to Zack's friend. I really didn't appreciate them leaving the dogs in the room. I also didn't like the fact that his friend can't leave his dog at home.
When he got home, I was told not to say anything. I am really close to telling this guy off. It was not too long ago that Paul told me that Zack lifted a voice recorder . Really? Another thief stealing in my house? I told him to call the cops. He is waiting until Zack is in jail.
Then, to my astonishment, Paul told me last night that Zack's friends were not of legal age to drink. That is the limit. This is really pissing me off because I cannot afford to lose a room mate right now. It's hard to say if he will pay rent next month. If he goes to jail at the beginning of next month his shit is being thrown out the door and I don't have a clue where his dog went. Paul debated on what to do about the situation.
I don't have time to babysit everyone and their dog. I am busy. I am still looking at different work opportunities. I am going to school. I spent the whole day working on a paper. I am feeling anxiety because of Zack again.
I woke up this morning and typed up some rules. I have typed up rules before. Zack wrote on the rules. He seems to have this obsession with Jeremiah. He blames everything on him. He has to blame something he does on someone else. What the hell is his problem? Is he really an adult or a teenager?
Anything else bad goes on that I don't approve of, people are being kicked out. No ands, ifs, or buts. I about pounded on Zack's door to wake him up while he was hung over. I wanted to rip his head off. I better not see his friends here to drink again. I am going to be aggressive about putting my foot down. I will say something here very soon and nobody will be able to stop me. I will call the proper people next time as well.
I have been looking through Craigslist for stuff. I have my eyes open for a step ladder. Anything I can use. I found some 35mm film. I grabbed that. I also saw an ad for a free Thanksgiving dinner. Who in the right mind would post that on a list full of creeps? Their intentions are nice. I was thinking that they might not be good Samaritans either.

A Little Help

I am excited [The passive voice is a form of "be" (am) and a participle (excited). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs tedious to read and officious. Try to use the active voice most often, e.g., the student completed the paper on time. The passive voice version: The paper was completed on time by the student. Note how often the passive voice appears in your paper.] to go back [ Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Use return instead of go back. ] to class again. I called my friend Julie as soon as I enrolled. I told her how excited I was to be going to college through the internet.


This is driving me crazy, I have sent my paper through the proof reading thing four times and I have corrected this three. I need to figure out how to keep this from sounding passive. I even took the work shop on the difference between passive and active sentences.

There is a God!

Where we last left off with drama in Wilder, the step child was telling my father she only has so long to live and was going to lose feeling in her hands and feet. Dad called her bluff.
We could all see this was just a ploy for her to get back into dad's house and have him taxi her around. Same as before, again and again. He's retired you fool! How do you think the children would feel if their grandparents welcomed someone that ruined their lives back into their home? If it were me, I would be pissed off and refuse to talk to the grandparents. Children are human beings. It's not like you can break them and take them back to the store. It doesn't work that way. I've said it before, it just boggles my mind.
To boot, both of the step kids in jail are brainstorming ways to get back into the parents house. It's not going to happen! If Vikki is gullible enough to fall for their stint, she is in for the very thing that she was trying to get out of. The only way to make things change is to stop listening to them. With people like that, you don't continue to help them. They are clearly showing signs of not changing. Great big pink neon sign. WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. Don't you see it blinking in the distance?
So, dad talked to the doctor. The doctor needed her consent. She signed the paperwork consenting. I don't know if it was out of sheer stupidity. I don't know if it is because she thinks she is living her lie. Nah, she's naive.
As it turned out, Athena is not loosing the feeling in her limbs. She is not going to die before 45. Unless it is by dumb luck anyway. Of course, the parents are mad at her for telling her information sensitive mother. Athena is mad at dad for calling her bluff. My dad is slow, okay? He is not as dumb as people think. There is a very smart guy under all that aged speed.
Athena's next move was to tell him that she will be on the streets if there is no place to go. Think again, there is no way they will let her be on the street. She will not be let out until she is in a home. The last thing we need is another baby on the way.

Will I Still Be Lucky?

For me, it has been easy to find another job. I had an interview set up before I was not longer with Direct. I think my interview was about a week after. Then in about a week or so, I have another coming up here.
I went to orientation today. I will be working for Volt. I will be working on a temp basis with EDS for about 6 months. If all goes well, I will be converting to work for EDS. I totally believe I can do it. I'll be placing orders, cancelling orders, reselling the value of the product, telling someone how to use the product. How hard can it be? I'm sure the product sells itself. I am a little curious about it.
I went and took a drug test. They are going to be doing a background check. All that fun stuff. I did all this a couple months ago, I am sure nothing has changed since that time frame.
So, I have taken four days of class. I am kind of getting the hang of college. It has been frustrating. Everything is organized. Everything is in a few different areas which makes the whole thing really confusing. I had printed out agendas and calendars hoping to have everything down. Now, if I can get the rules down. I have to post an assignment and respond to fellow pupils. Now I have to figure out who I can harass about University of Phoenix. I have a paper due this week on explaining going to an online college. Something like that. For now, I will take a break.
I have someone who is begging for cheese burgers. I keep asking if he is buying but of course, he is not. I'll be damned if I have to spend anymore money today. I already took him to an interview and I took him to Rocky's Diner for lunch.

Speak of The Devil

Vacation moving along slowly but surely. It would be nice to have something in the meantime while I get real employment. I have been looking. I think last week I submitted over 10 resumes, personality tests, and applications.
I was exhausted from all the work today. I had been taking my online classes to relax. The classes are kind of cool. Nothing I had never done before in school. I'm not incredibly impressed with the generic answers I have read in there. One teacher is personable while the other is not. I am taking two classes. Read, analyze, and write.
Today, I emailed two resumes from postings in Craigslist. Believe it or not. I went to Boise. I turned in my papers to the union. Paul liked them. I like the union, they are cool people. I want to be a steward.
I went to Gem Staffing and turned in my resume. I went to The Youth Ranch and filled out an application for a store clerk. Both of these were on Craigslist as well. There is a ton of stuff open today. My friend Shannon texted me for help to find her friend a job. I referred them to Qwest. I don't care what anyone says, they freaking rock! I miss my work family. She asked me to be a reference. I said of course! Besides, Shannon is probably going to get a few calls because of me. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Shannon is the shit.
I get home, take my class. Play some games. Blog. I am sure I'm boring everyone to death. I am on the computer all day and I have the Internet. I check my email hoping to hear some positive news. There it is, Volt responded. They are a staffing agency.
I never have high hopes for staffing agencies mind you. Typically, the results are bad and they end up sticking you in the temp positions. The last one was really rude to me to. What the hey? Volt sent me two emails, one was with a link for an application and the other had a link for the tests.I worked on both which took me about an hour.
Around 8:45ish pm, I have an email again asking if she can call. Thinking...no minutes left on phone..not doing anything. I give her the go ahead. I get a phone call about 10 minutes later.
The job is relation to a call center for HP. It is an inbound call for Proactive Solutions. That should be stinking easy. I asked her a few questions and she will doing some research for me. She also told me that they have a link to WDSGlobal. Which thrilled me a bit because they are still hiring for technical support. I like technical support.
So, I have a pending job on the way. As far as I know, if this all works out, I will be starting December 3. Yay!

Down With Right To Work!!

Inside Mission Statement

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2083-Workplace-Issues-15-Signs-Your-Workplace-is-Dysfunctional/?sc_extcmp=JS_2083_home1&SiteId=cbmsnhp42083&ArticleID=2083>1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=a008a131e1f84425aaa212973fc23a1d-311687778-wv-6

Does your job drive you crazy? Do you sometimes wonder if you are the only sane person in working there? Is your workplace dysfunctional, or is it you? Here's how to find out.

Based on more than 30 years of experience as psychologist and business consultant, I've put together a checklist of 15 diagnostic signs of a psychologically dysfunctional business. Is it the job, or is it you?

Sign No. 1: Conspicuously posted vision or value statements are filled with vague but important-sounding words like "excellence" and "quality."
These words are seldom defined and the concepts they allude to are never measured.


Sign No. 2: Bringing up a problem is considered as evidence of a personality defect rather than as an observation of reality.
In a dysfunctional company, what it looks like is not only more important than what it is, it is what it is. If you don't believe that, you are the problem. A surprising amount of information is classified. Dysfunctional companies have more state secrets than the CIA. Anything that might embarrass the boss turns out to be a national security issue.

Sign No. 3: If by chance there are problems, the usual solution is a motivational seminar.
Attitude is everything, especially in places where facts are embarrassing or inconvenient. In a dysfunctional family, there's an elephant -- usually a drunken abusive parent -- in the parlor, but no one ever mentions him. To appear sane, you have to pretend that the elephant is invisible, and that drives you crazy. Businesses are full of invisible elephants, too. Usually they are things that might cause difficulties for people with enough clout to prevent their discussion. The emperor may be naked, but if you have a good attitude, you won't mention it.

Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face.
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough, you should know already. (I hope Emily gets this one.)

Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were.
Those huge salaries require some justification.

Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing.
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.

Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening.
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted. (Again, Emily. No, apparently nobody is going upward. I have been watching management going down a level instead of up.)

Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded.
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company, the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.

Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible.
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.

Sign No. 10: Delegating means telling somebody to do something, not giving them the power to do it.
According to Webster's Dictionary, you delegate authority, not tasks. In dysfunctional companies, you may have responsibility, but the authority lives in the office upstairs.

Sign No. 11: Management approaches from the latest best-seller are regularly misunderstood to mean what we're doing already is right on the mark.
"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "Good to Great" and "Who Moved My Cheese?" all seem to boil down to, "quit griping and do more with less."

Sign No. 12: Resources are tightly controlled.
Your department may need upgraded software, but there's been a spending freeze since 2006. Cost control is entry-level management, but in a dysfunctional company, anything more sophisticated is considered too touchy-feely. Whatever you propose, the first question you will be asked is if it can be done cheaper.

Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line.
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit. (Wow, what coorporation could POSSIBLY remind me of this??)

Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do.
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.

Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test.
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.

Bing: Is TV's 'The Office' dysfunctional?

Video: Dilbert comic: Steaming Pile of Failure

Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., is the author of the best-sellers "Dinosaur Brains" and "Emotional Vampires." His newest book is "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity." For more information on how to stay sane at work, visit Dr. Al's Web site, www.albernstein.com.

Copyright 2009 Albert J. Bernstein All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.

I Love You, But Your Breath Stinks

I know, I know. I have my own home, I can do whatever I freaking please here. If there is something that goes on, I put my foot down. I will not tolerate bull crap. At all.
My father, he has his own house. Vikki is my step mom and she owns the house as well. They can do whatever they damn well please. If they want to be a victim of their own demise, that's fine. There is something that dad is going to have to understand, his own flesh and blood is tired of the bullshit. We love you and we are going to be protective of you, dad. This could very well involve intelligent manipulation on Vikki and dad. What's more powerful than a pathological lie? The truth.
I love my step siblings. Most may not like that. You know what? They are my brother and sister. Just as little Justin is my brother as well. I know Morgan is a dumb ass and he may never get out of jail. That's his own damn fault. Athena? Well, she is an interesting character. She is my one and only sister. It's a love and hate relationship when it comes to Vikki's children. Underneath all of the bluff, they can be kind people. Can be. The parents need to let them be on their own to figure things out. They have had enough moral support, but they take that support and they neglect it. Apparently, it is time to stop and start saying no.
Morgan has been telling them once more that he will help around the house when he is out. He is a wonderful help. In fact, I like nice Morgan. He is good at yard work and he is a pro at fixing a lawn mower. That sweet guy is only temporary. Then he turns into this evil little thug want to be. He has proved it time and time again. Him and Athena turn into these mega manipulation machine masterminds. Isn't anyone tired of this proof?
Athena told dad that she had a doctors visit. She says that she was told her illness is getting worse. She will be losing use of her hands and her feet and that she won't live past the age of 45. She says that she will need assisted living. Well, put her into assisted living in a home. Call her bluff and see what happens. She seems to think that she can waltz back into dad and Vikki's home.
Vikki is getting on dad's case about his attitude towards the whole situation. My father is a retired person and he has not even been able to be retired because he keeps playing cab driver. I am respectful for concern for her kids. It's natural, she is the mom.
For as much as my dad has done for the step kids. For as much money as he spent on them. It is time for her to listen to her step children the same as he has done for hers. Vikki is one person. One. Justin and I are two people. We can easily come up with a bigger army than one person.
Athena's condition getting worse? Take this into consideration, Athena damaged her kids permanently. She did not take care of her kids. Why should dad stoop down to help her? She had received enough help. Enough is an understatement. She has received way too much help. Shykia's EYE is damaged, okay? She locked up her kids in their rooms without bathroom privileges. She treated her children like they were animals.
Athena, I like you. You are my sister. You are going to have to take things into perspective. I know this is why you don't come to me for assistance. I would expect our parents would treat you the same way as you parented your children. If you are manipulating my dad you need to stop. If you are smart, you would understand what kind of battle you are going to ensue and fail.

Depp and Burton Unite!

When The Dark Knight opened, there was a rumor for another Batman movie being made. Would they be saddened about one of the actors that died and decline to make a new one? Yeah, many were devastated about Heath. I doubt that would keep anyone from making more. The Matrix sequels were still made.
The hopes for the new Batman movie is still around. People are talking about Harlequin being in the next one. They even said that Johnny Depp was going to play the Mad Hatter. Rumors are being put to rest, unless Johnny gets type cast.

How The Vacation is Goin

I miss the new family I was working with. They were so sweet. As much as I don't want to, I reminisce about the day I left. People were waving good-bye and telling me good luck. I could see concern. There was one that stopped me before I got out the door and gave me a hug.
Until I am back again, I will be, I search for something in the mean time. I think I submitted about 10 or more applications. I got an email back from World Market. Which would be really cool because I am a worldly kind of person. I love the the stuff that they sell. Some of my house is decked out in stuff from them. Very good resource for redecorating the bathroom.
I went to the employment office to file for unemployment once more. Paul got a call from Office Depot for an interview, I am hoping he gets the job. He could very well be commuting and paying for parking. Heck, I still have the rest of the month left over on my parking pass. I can give that to him.
The door knob had to be replaced on the door. Dad went and bought me a new door knob. My financial situation is going to go out of control. One room mate is going down hill and I am getting the feeling that he will be going soon. He causes drama for the other room mate. I think he picks on him because he is a big guy. There is a conspiracy going on against him that needs to stop. The other guy pays his rent on time and doesn't use other peoples stuff and he is not an alcoholic. The one going downhill blames everything on the big guy. I have noticed something, the big guy is not the one using everyone else's razors nor is he clogging up the drains. The dog, I'm not going to dog sit, his mother can watch him. I am going to be home often, guess what, my foot is going down and I am taking control.
I was getting ready to go to Justin's house. As soon as I was headed for the door, the roomie tells me that he will leave the dog out. I tell him that we are headed out of town. He says that the dog can stay out. Um...hell no. I waited til he was gone and the dog went back in the room. I did not want to come home to something being chewed up or shit on. It's bad enough the cat does that.
Justin had a little toddler running around the house. The kid freaked out when he saw Frank. He would start to cry. We got the little guy playing with Franky. He attempted to play fetch where Frank was actually the target. You know how excited Frank gets when you throw the ball? He stomps and he barks. The kid started to cry again. I think he got over it, he was chasing Frank around with a choo choo train. I cut the visit short. I had to turn the furnace back on for the night and let the cat back out.
Today, I went to mom's to rake the yard. She fed me and Paul and gave us some cash.
Tomorrow, I play catch up. I am going to go in person to get assistance with the unemployment. I also need to grab my pay stub because they email those internally. Have to catch up with World Market and show my affection toward the company. Then I am hoping to hear from WDSGlobal again. I heard from them before but at the time I declined. I also start my schooling tomorrow and I have to try to have a quick conversation with Mabel because I have about 100 minutes left over on my cell phone. I do not want another huge bill. I already have a huge one coming up here from Qwest. I dropped my phone line and upgraded my Internet speed.
For now, I will run off. Have some visiting to do.

For Uncle Phil

Quite Silly

What Does it All Mean Bazzle?

Whoever thought of the questions to ask in the personality test should get a class action lawsuit. They let the bad and grumpy people have a job. Which leaves the good people out of work.
It doesn't matter what kind of job it is. You have to take these tests for a minimum wage job. It's not even worth the effort. I have a wonderful personality. I am customer oriented and it's fun for me to use my resources. I will research things for people. I will even chew your food for you.
I have come across the same survey at every job I have applied for. It asks all these questions that contradict each other. They also are twisted up to where you give the wrong answer and make yourself look like someone that you are not. These personality tests should be banned. Seriously, if I go shopping at Hollywood Video I want someone polite helping me. I always have to deal with a crabby customer service person.
"You don't act polite when you don't want to" is one question. Do I agree or disagree? Look, I am polite. When I don't want to be polite I am polite anyway. So, I am a bit confused on whether to agree or disagree.

But, I Want To Be There

I was so excited about my new job. The moment I saw the cubicles I thought, how come I didn't get here sooner? The people are freaking cool. Some are jerks but they just need a piece of Prozac candy.
I didn't make it as a sales person. I figured I would be great at it. I am a customer, I have had there service for a while. I was a Verizon customer, I am certain I would be able to sell that. I had DirecTv, I worked for them, I should have been able to sell that to. Everyone wants a discount and everyone is looking for a bundle. Knowledge isn't strategic enough to be able to sell something. I think I am way to technical. The years of being a resolution specialist had me distracted to keep on trying to resolve ones issue.
Yesterday, was the last day of my assessment. I tried my hardest. I didn't succeed. Today, I was let go because I could not meet sales goal.
It really boggles my mind. Over the weekend, I nearly helped a Walmart guy make a commission off of the Droid. I even spoke to the people looking at it and I feel that I did get their interest. I bet I could sell stuff in person. It is so much different when you are there in person versus when you are on the phone. It confuses me.
I was told that I am "rehireable" by the company but, not in sales. Which is fair. I know I can't sell anything. So, I will keep my eyes open for another opportunity to work for Qwest. In the mean time, I am looking for a job again.

PBS

I never bought a converter box. I had DirecTv. Now, that I don't have DirecTv and Emily should be rotting in hell, I have no television.
From what I understand, there aren't any converter boxes left. Paul found a guy that was selling one. I cannot afford to buy one.
I have had my eye on the antenna that you plug into the tv. The modern day rabbit ears. The first one I found, you have to have a converter box. Today I found an antenna that you can plug directly into the television.
I messed around with the channel search. I search through cable and I get two Spanish channels. I search through television and I pick up a few more channels. I got to shopping channels and three or four PBS channels.
So, I get to learn about stuff in HD.
By the way, I am thinking about selling Logan. I'm tired of making discoveries in random areas.

Fork In The Road

For now, things are starting to come together and mellow out. Then it will start going haywire again. I have got my medical bills on a payment plan. My assessment with work is almost over.
I am hoping for the best. I really want to work there because it is cozy and I like everyone. Well, the ones that don't cause me issues that is. I haven't been doing very well. Most people are like, " Don't worry about the assessment." I wouldn't if it weren't for the numbers they say I have to meet. I also have to face the fact that people talk about stressful things. The last class had about 20 people in it...8 passed. I know I can sell stuff, I just don't know what it is that I need to say. My timing is horrible. The other person has to be emotionally present. Is anyone emotionally checked in these days? Not really.
I'm not trying to think negative either. I have no intention of being a negative Nancy. Unfortunately, for those trying to get in my path have been feeling my wrath. If it is anything I despise, it is a run around. I try to keep to myself as much as humanly possible. Why? Well, the answer to my question is either right or wrong and I get both a wrong and right answer at the same time. I get an answer that doesn't have anything to do with my question. It ticks me off. The last person that did it got an earful about how the confusion made me feel. I wasn't mad at him nor was I taking it out on him. I am certain he had too much pride and wore his emotions on his sleeve. Things like that make it difficult to get things done in a timely fashion. Are you confused? Good.
I had started my orientation for University of Phoenix. It started up a little late. There were two people I had to speak to first and I have been wrapped up in three dilemmas, it was virtually impossible. The past three nights was orientation for the online schooling. I think it went well. I was really confused.
I am doing all of this "fun" stuff on the side and I hop into college? I looked at the website and it was all gibberish to me. It doesn't help either when there are a ton of distractions at home that are not needed. I think I am going to start hanging out in Meridian if I don't start getting some quiet around here.

Saved Up Drug Money

I have made it a habit to make fun of my neighbors. It's what makes them more tolerable.
They have been remodeling their house. I don't know how. The wife works at a grocery store. The husband is at home all the time. The kids, well I don't know what to make of the kids. They are a little special.
They put a new roof on the house. For this I am grateful. Their roof made me hope that I didn't come across a pyro. I wish they would redo the roof on the shed that overlaps into my property. They also built another shed in the backyard. One of their kids stays in it. Makes me wonder what is going to start happening next with the thug wannabe.
They put new siding on the house. The obnoxious people doing the work said that they would do anything...even me. Yeah, I want to do business with you. Don't call me, I'll call you. I am not going to go halfsies on the freaking fence.
They painted their house a nice red color. Then out of no where, a new deck appears in the front. They also chopped down the plum tree.
You would almost think that there is a completely new house next door. The inside still needs to be worked on. From what I understand, that is going to be done next year.
They sell meth I tell ya. I would turn them in but I am afraid that the police would think it is me. My house reeks of the urine from the neighbors cats. That's why they have so many felines, you see. It's to throw off the authorities by making the houses next door stink.
I am just chalk full of conspiracies today. I think I made a poor old lady paranoid about the safety of her identity. Seriously, it doesn't take much. All someone needs is your name and they are all set. In case you didn't know, weirdos existed before the Internet even did.

Disappearing Act

Just as soon as the griping started, things in the kitchen started to vanish. It started with the silver ware. I think He is eating them. I ran out of forks and I ran out of the spoons and now I am running out of butter knives.
The dishes have been vanishing as well. I look in the cupboards and ask where are the freaking bowls? Where are my plates? I am getting sick and tired of the disrespect. I use this stuff.
There was a morning when the dishes were done. The kitchen was clean. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, dishes appear. I made a decision. All dishes are going in the room. He is trying to trick us into doing dishes.
Paul decided to put the dishes into a cupboard and put a latch on it. If anyone wants to know where the dishes are, they are going to have to speak with me.

Halloween

Frankenpumpkin

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