Don't take this as a complaint. My parents divorced a long time ago. Like many kids, I took advantage of it. Hurray, two sets of parents! More gifts! Well, until the sister kept on having children. It makes me wonder if dad will give me a ton of money if I was fucking up my life...on second thought probably not because he would still be spending money on her.
Divorce can cause many changes. For me, it was an awakening. I came to an understanding on what things really were. What my parents are really like. I don't think I really understood anyone. It never occurred to me to even think about it.
Before, I would receive presents from mom and dad together. Maybe a present here and there from the grandparents. When they split in two, I realized I could try to get presents from them both. So, I pretty much got a ton of presents. I was a horrible child. I am probably an evil little child for taking advantage of a situation that was probably already causing a hardship. I didn't know any better.
I think that is something that took the thrill out of the holidays. The only thing that has been keeping me excited are Christmas trees, decorations, and the possibility of eating some kick ass food over at Rick and Joannes.
My advice to those who are going through a divorce and have kids, don't spoil them. Work out some negotiation together. If you cannot contact each other, make the present giving fun. Surprise the kids. When I made a list, I had two lists. The folks would get me everything on the list. Why is that? I never got everything I wanted before. I remember wanting a telescope and a microscope back in the day. I never got them. I am willing to bet I would have been able to get those after the break up. It takes the fun out of trying to figure out what your going to get.
I like the concept of being able to see relatives during the holidays. I am pretty awful about that. I don't think I really acquired the skill to be social. It makes me feel kind of guilty that I don't speak to someone. I spoke to my cousin Lisa last night. I can't remember the last time I saw her. She doesn't really know who I am. She isn't the only one. I have many more cousins that I have never spoken to and probably never even met. There are relatives that I do know that I don't speak to. I don't know what my deal is. I'm super shy and don't have much to say.
Now, that I look like a little monster. I have to go. I got rent to deposit. A father to harass. A plan to make. A job to help someone find. I need to eat something.
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