Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!

Christmas 2009

Jennifer | MySpace Video

My Own Personal Catch 22

I have what many people call "social anxiety." I freak out when I go to parties. I am not very good with being social. I think I have a lack of trust in human beings. I remember going to a party. I never go to them. I got scared and started to ball my eyes out.
I have a hard time asking for help. I always feel like I am a nuisance. It makes it hard grabbing a supervisor if something is not going right. I was sent to a assistant supervisor because I could not figure out if I was going to the wrong place for my e-mail. Little did I remember, I have to set up everything again after going to a different computer. The assistant was not being an assistant. I think the supervisor felt like I was trying to drag her away from her responsibilities. Which I wasn't, I was uncertain on where I could go. Things like this make me nervous about talking to different people. I am always concerned that I will not get help.
Then I go to places where people know who I am. I think it is kind of freaky when someone says, "Hey, Jen!" I guess I have become unfamiliar with someone that I know saying my name. Oh yeah, the person is not a customer on my phone just saying my name. I'm not constantly introducing myself to someone I will know for thirty minutes or less.
It's kind of weird. I am not comfortable in a place where I don't know anybody. I am not comfortable in a place where people know me. I have no clue what to talk about. I never know what to say. I'm gone for a very long time, you would think I would have a ton to say. I think I have officially turned into a hermit.

Kitty!

I Feel Hateful

I think I am a bit overwhelmed. My heart feels like it expands like a balloon. I can't stand looking at my car. I can't stand the new bill coming my way. I wouldn't take care of it, but I can't get in or out of the door.
I have a break from school until the 4th. I have to find a way to fit everything into my agenda. I have to fit work, school, and car all into one. That jerk is going down. It is on like donkey kong.
Besides all the crap, I had a pretty good holiday. I began my new job. I don't know how it is going because I don't really get to speak to anyone. I got some cool presents. I got to see my family. I got to laugh, cry, and yell. It's been an exciting week.

Alas, Blaine County

So, I have been waiting on money from U of P. I finally got it today just in time to get myself a new computer. I really should not have left. I should have stayed at home and cleaned my clothes as I originally intended.
I went to Walmart because they had the price range in mind I was looking for. It was as though over night the price of desk top computers went up by $200 to $500. The other place I found cheaper desk tops was at Office Depot. I had bad luck with the people in Nampa, I decided to go to Boise.
Finding a parking spot is difficult. So, I go around. I was going to park on the other side of the road to Edwards. I was driving down the road. I was minding my own business. My eyes are straight ahead. My light was green coming across the intersection so I went. Paul points at the side and I see a car coming out. By then, it was too late. This douche bag hit the side of my car. I get out and the guy coolly points at his light (which is red) and said his was green. The lights change after that and the traffic behind me is stopped. The side of my car is ruined. A fat douche bag walks by and antagonizes me. I tell him to mind his business or I would press charges on him. He could have been fined with disturbing the peace. It is wise to keep your mouth shut when something has happened. You hold off on that until the cops arrive, dickhead.
The cop finally arrived. He spoke to the car that was in back of me. He spoke to the witnesses. He spoke to the driver. They all said that I had a red light. In the long run, I want proof. I want proof that my light was red. This prick that hit me was from Hailey. He clearly was not paying attention. He was driving fast and did not slow down. He is probably someone that would bribe others. I know how people from Blaine county drive. They are arrogant and don't give a crap. A huge majority of them are under the influence of drugs. I will go out of my way to find out if his light was green or red. I know what I saw and I know I had the right of way.
I am glad the cop wasn't an asshole. I thought I had up to date information on my insurance in my car, it's nowhere to be found. It's probably in the backseat somewhere. He is giving me a couple weeks to dig up my new insurance info to get rid of the citation. Instead of giving me a ticket for inattentive driving, he gave me a ticket for running a red light.
So, I have a ton on my plate this upcoming month. Once again, I will be without my car for a couple of weeks once it's in the shop.

A Haunting In Boise

Old Idaho Penitentary

Jennifer | MySpace Video

Monday was not a good day for me. I toughed it out. I couldn't do it. People I work with were making me annoyed. I was not emotionally there. I decided to grab the bereavement time before I crashed and burned.
I drove to work, I told them I couldn't do it yesterday. Even though I am risking hours since I don't get paid for the time off. I had to be away from people. I came home and I got things done. I knew I would forget over the next couple days.
I watched some ghost adventure thing. My friend had posted a preview of an episode when they came to Boise. They visited the Old Idaho Penitentiary. It was kind of creepy. I have seen that place many times and kind of suspected some presence. Paul wanted to see the place. He hasn't seen much of Boise.
So, a field trip it was. Little did I realize I get a discount with my AAA membership. I forgot, I went ahead and paid anyway. It's only $5 each. That is less than a movie ticket at most theaters.
There were not very many people there. In fact, there was just a group of four before us. Every once in a while we heard them. It was very quiet other than that. There were some changes since I was there last. They opened up the drop room. You can also walk all the way around.
I kind of was creeped out by the darker areas. I didn't want to feel any unknown fingers through my hair. Paul did try to flee one of the buildings. He heard one of the people from the group. They were in other buildings. We were by ourselves in each building we checked out. I really should have been filming the whole time. I didn't film solitary confinement. Paul did on his phone.
We went into maximum security and death row. We were hoping to see some activity, nothing was seen. It did feel the creeps. Paul vanished when I was reading in the hanging room. I finally found him in the drop room.
We left and got some lunch. Paul started posting photos online. He grabbed my attention. I didn't watch my videos yet. He played the one where I was walking through death row. There was loud banging noises. You couldn't hear either one of us speaking. This also happened in solitary confinement.
I thought that was really weird. There was other footage and it wasn't loud. I pulled out my camera and took a look. Sure enough, it is loud there to. Right as soon as I open my mouth the banging noise begins. It's too creepy.
Paul kept on watching his videos over and over again. It was creeping me out. I also watched the ghost adventure guys again. I had to stop watching.

RIP Britany Murphy

My Grandma Berglund

I think I may have been an awful grandchild. I don't think I made very much contact with my grandmother since I was 23. I have visited her, but only when I was visiting mom and when mom wanted to visit her. I really don't feel like talking about that. I don't want to talk about the fact that another grandparent of mine passed away during the holiday season. When I am going to die, I'm going to make darn sure it isn't around Christmas.
My Grandma Berglund was a stubborn old woman. I would have sworn that she would have lived to 100. If she didn't out live us all.
I remember going to her house to hide a few times. There was an empty lot beside her house in the trailer court. Us kids would play in there without the worry of getting some disease from all the mosquitoes. I remember she had this fruit dehydrator sitting on the back patio. My favorite thing to do there was peel the skin off of the tree and sleep in the hammock.
There was always some form kind of sewing project. I would be measured from head to toe for some outfit. She even made me a quilt. I still have it. The sides are worn and strips of material are hanging off, it's still good.
She took me to my first concert. We went to see Dolly Parton. I got the program for that somewhere still. She loved Dolly. Who wouldn't? Dolly Parton is freaking cool. I think grandma was the first person I ever heard whistling dixie. Probably the only one, I can't think of anyone else.
Grandma got me addicted to Chinese food. She used to work at the school cafeteria. I guess I always had to be on my best behavior during lunch. Even though my last name was always being spelled wrong. I think we would have International food days and one of the days was Chinese. I never had an egg roll, now I love them. I think I like food in general because of her. My favorite food on the holidays was always at her house. My favorite food was the Flinstone dip and the stuffed mushrooms. I'm game for everything...except for tamales.
I remember the games I would play at her house. She had one of those little people barns that I always plays with. My favorite Sesame street book was There Is a Monster At The End of This Book. The toys were located in the closet in the hallway.
She always had a cat. I think she always needed a Siamese cat. I never knew a cat left "gifts" on a doorstep until she lived in the country.
I don't really have any stories to tell about grandma. I know she was always doing something for me. I thought she was spectacular. Grandma Berglund, I love you and I will miss you very much.

A Skill That Everyone Must Have

Tomorrow, I have a paper that is due. It has to be about 750 words. I can do that, I think the last assignment this week was about 650. No sweat. I read the assignment the other day and I have been thinking a bit hard.
I can't remember what the first thing I thought of was. Many things have been rolling through my head. I asked Paul if he could think of anything. He said that everyone needs to learn Spanish. Well, it could work. However, it may seem bias.
If I think about it, it would be nice to be able to speak other languages. If you are bilingual, you have an opportunity to work in a position and make more money. There wouldn't be a language barrier when speaking to others. That way when a Mexican talks shit behind your back, you have an excuse to punch their lights out.
Then I thought, maybe everyone should learn how to drive a standard. I have no clue how to drive one. I can move one forwards or backwards. Not everyone knows how to drive one. From what I understand, a standard is more economical. I wouldn't know.
I am just a little bit lost. I can't think of anything that would be beneficial to everyone.

Yay and Boo

Just as I am making Zack leave, the other one will not be able to pay rent in time next month. He will be paying in February and then some. SO, I will have some ads up again and being extremely careful about spending money.
I graduated from my class at work. The job is fairly easy. I was thinking how interesting it is transitioning from technology to medicated products. I had to keep thinking, "I didn't know satellite technology when I started working at the other place. This will be a cinch!." It is kind of like installation support minus the missing technicians. Well, maybe missing shipments if the information wasn't entered in properly.
I'm hoping to return mom's movie soon, I am growing tired of the damn thing. I had to beg Paul not to watch it anymore. I can't though. I have to meet with someone for assistance with the gas bill. I have to start working on a paper. I also have to start making the cookies. I have to prepare myself for the ten hour shifts. Need a game plan to fit work and school together. Maybe do stuff on my days off?

I can't breath

It's been snowing. Of course, it is going away. I have to be waking up earlier in the morning to go to work. Which really sucks, I have a nasty cold. I am going to have a hard time resting.
Paul and I went to Wally World the day before yesterday. We decided to look at the dolls. I saw one that had all of this pink gear and it was cute. It was only $10. I grabbed that. Then I saw one with more stuff and cries when you take the pacifier away. I grabbed that one instead. There is going to be one wrapped present under the tree.
I started on some dough for cookies yesterday. So far, I have dough for gingerbread people and sugar cookies. I am pretty stoked. I think I'll have some time to put things together. I get a two week vacation from school.
It's almost time to talk on the phones again. My head is so stuffy. I hope everything is better by tomorrow.

The Crib

I am warming up to write a paper for school. I also am getting a cold. You will have to bear with me. I had to try for a little bit to boot someone off my computer. It's mine damn it.
It's going to be fun once again. Paul failed to tell me the other night that he saw a weed pipe in Zacks belongings. Luckily, Zack's girlfriend didn't grab the bag when she took the dog. Yesterday, I took a look where his stuff was moved to. There was this odd looking orange tube. I had no idea what that thing was. I never seen Zack with it. I attempted to call his probation officer. Nobody was open. I called his grandmother and told him of the findings. Zack's mother called back and told me that he bought some fancy cigarette holder. Right, and the experts in the house said otherwise. We never saw him use it and who do you think you are kidding? She was probably calling so nothing will happen. I am certain she smokes weed with him. He talks about doing drugs all the time to.
So, sometime around the 21st, his mom will be by to take his things out of the house. I felt bad. But, not really since she kept on buying him beer. Evidently, he was never disciplined either. I saw cigarette ashes all of the room. I have said many times, no smoking in the house. Since he has no respect and thinks he can do things behind my back, I will go behind his back and kick him out. Take that and chew it.
So, Paul's daughter wants a baby doll. I saw some really cool toys we could get her, but okay. I thought about maybe going to the Dollar Tree and making a cool baby doll kit. Get a little doll, some of those cool bottles, and a rattle. I was thinking of maybe getting a crib for it. Then I started to think of this really cool crib I had a long time ago. I think I may have given it to good will since then.
I don't remember what day it was, dad and everyone else decided to begin a project. Me and the other kids kept on trying to get down into the basement. What were they up to? The secret club kept us kids out of there. Then on Christmas day, I had me a home made baby crib. It was white and had some of those weird plastic stickers. I think they were the type of stickers that get painted on. I can't remember. I was tickled pink by the gift.
I kind of wish that I still had it so I could give it to her. Maybe I can swing by a thrift store and see what they have for toys. I think I can come up with something pretty cool.
I haven't done any Christmas shopping. I haven't had any money or the time. I am hoping that what I make will be fine.

Ha ha ha.

It is definitely December. I am not talking holiday decorations. Oh no. I'm not speaking of the music of movies. I am talking of all the crap that goes down in my house. If it were up to me, it would be me and me only here.
Zack got a DUI not too long after he moved in. He blamed it on Paul. He told a cop that was just at the house that Paul had all of the beers. This guy is a real douche bag.
So, he goes to court. Has to be on supervised probation. Has to spend 9 days in jail. He continues to drink and party. Causing a delay until jail time. I think I put his months notice in for him. He told Paul not to tell me that he does not have enough money to pay rent next month.
I don't see any officers come by the house. Today, I told Paul that I hope Zack gets arrested. He is causing my issues. He lets his dog tear up the house. He doesn't lock the doors. He leaves the lights on. He picks on the other room mate. He uses other peoples razors and clogs the drains. He pisses in the backyard. He let's minors drink in my home. He needs to go.
Then, tonight, I get a phone call from his grandmother. Apparently, he has not checked in since court. He had a $1,000 fine and a warrant out for his arrest. He told them that he had checked in and he was told that there wasn't enough room. Like that will fly. They arrested him. I was to watch his dog for the night. Someone stopped by and picked up the dog.
I am reluctant on looking for a new room mate. I have had way too many flakes to want to deal with it anymore. I can't afford it. They make my bills go high and they cause me stress and other people living in the house stress. I am hoping that Paul gets a job soon.
Around this time of the year, I had the same exact scenario. Tonya was paying later in the month and blaming it on the economy. I warned her not to pay late anymore. She kept on having one guy after another come over. She was meeting all of these people off the Internet. Then she started to vanish for long periods.
The other room mate told me that Tonya had been fired because she said something offensive. She had ran off to her boyfriends house in Twin Falls. Lo and behold, people were calling left and right concerned about her. Tonya was running away with this mysterious man. I had met him on Halloween. Seemed harmless. He wasn't bringing her beer or anything like another guy was.
Two weeks into December, no rent. I text Tonya's father to see where she went to. About a couple hours later, I get a text from someone else. It was the guy she had ran off with. I told him that she has not paid rent. He told me that money was coming.
No money. I get reached by him again. He did not understand that she did not pay anything. She told him that she paid two months in advance in November. Why would she need anyone to send money if she was paid in full? He told me that Tonya was fired because she had stolen from the store. She was gone because she was in jail.
In the long run, I am pissed because she is lying. I am also pissed because she lied to the other room mate. It's not a good thing to do. This causes paranoia and locks to be put on doors.
I told him that she needs to come home. She is going to be asked to leave. This was a struggle. I would get phone calls from the guy. He wanted to date me instead of her. I told him, getting her here was more important. He nearly dropped her off at her fathers house. She needed to come home. Her ass was grass.
He finally got her back over here. She told me that she paid two months in advance in October. Really? She would still be a month behind. Paul was this guy by the way. She was sponging off of him, using his cell phone to text boys, and eating all the kids food. I had him hang out with me. We watched Good Luck Chuck all night. Tonya kept on knocking on the door. She was using the other roomies phone to text him pretending to be someone else. That really pissed me off because nobody let me know until she was out of the house. Had I found out, she would have been on the street that night.
She knocked again on my bedroom door. I answered. She was in shock. The look on Tonya's face was priceless. Her plan didn't work. She was telling Paul that I had all of these men over and that I had STD's and that I wear a push up bra. That ploy doesn't work.
So, now Paul is living here. He has been living in my home for the past year now.

I Wish Things Would Mellow Out

I have been doing everything in my power to keep everything under control. Going between jobs has not been helping me. Waiting for unemployment does not help me. I have been trying everything to help Paul get a job.
Everything is going great as far as unemployment goes. It never is a good thing. Pay keeps getting lower. I qualify. There was not misconduct. The Department of Labor didn't hear anything back. So, I have a check coming my way.
I also have a concern with the 401k. I already liquidated the other one. What they do is they take 20% for the Federal people. Then another 10% because I am taking it out early. Then I closed the new 401k with the new job. I asked if there would be any penalty for the second within 4 months of each other. The rep said I would not. It's just 20% for taxes and then another 10% for taking it out early. So, I have to leave my savings account alone just in case they do come along and want the 10%.
I have been trying to lower things down as much as I possibly can. I reduced my minutes on my cell phone. This was just in time for me to lose the other job. After many phone conversations during the job hunt, filing for unemployment, and taking care of business my bill was $160. Lowering a cell phone bill does no justice. I removed my land line and I have just the Internet. Been using space heaters and not the furnace.
Today, I get my electrical bill. Last month was $37. This month it was $166. I always run into this crap. Nampa workers showed their laziness once again. I am so tired of living in this hell hole. My last bill was lower because the meter reader was too lazy to open the gate and come into the yard. I will be filing a complaint. Since the meter did not get read, they used a rough estimate. I paid for less than half. What doesn't make sense is that the bill wasn't that high last year. The gas bill is normally that high.
Right now, we are trying to find ways to reduce the bill. We have to take everything out of the freezer outside and put into the one in the house. The space heaters are going to have to go. Ultimately, the gas bill is going to go up. The lights keep on being left on, everyone is going to be spoken to about it. We took the light bulb out of the fixture in the backyard because people keep leaving that on at night. A lot of cutting back on electrical stuff.
Well, I'm gonna go. Phone is ringing. Paul and I are trying to get out of the house for now.

Even With The Long Johns

I have been going to class for the past few days. I am supposed to be on the phone on the 17th. Since I have that day off, I think I will be on the phone on the 20th.
It has been so cold for the past few mornings. I have been trying to keep the heater off as much as possible. It's not possible. At least we have some little heaters. We can cut around some of the gas bill. I have to talk to them on the 17th so I can get some assistance. I am sure I qualify, I have been making less than 4,000 in three months.
You would think that the heat would be on at work. Nope. I dug up my long johns. I am still cold. I thought about investing in some snow pants. The trainer stated that it gets that cold even during the summer. Geez, and I thought Directv got cold.
I have been getting up at about 4am. It has been virtually impossible. People are watching tv late. People are sending messages to my phone. I would turn off the ringer but I use that as another source to wake up in the morning.
I'm still doing really well in school. The professor in one of my classes is kind of weird. She doesn't speak much to anyone. The whole class doesn't really communicate much. I have to post about 8 responses a week in the class that is holding discussions. I have a hard time in there. Nobody freaking speaks. I think I'm going to ask my councilor and see if she can give me some pointers.
The other professor seems to be impressed with me. She comments a great deal on my enthusiasm. I never hear anything about grammar or structure. I post more in her class than the other.
I am doing pretty good over all. Well, I'm gonna relax for a bit. I have to get up early again tomorrow.

Happy Birthday!

Do you know how many people have a birthday in December? I can't believe how many birthdays I have seen on Face book this month. There are even people that I know that are not in the Internet that are having birthdays this month.
Today is my dad's birthday. Happy-birthday, Dad! My mom's birthday is on New Years Eve. My uncle Jim's birthday is on Christmas. I wonder what it is like to get presents once a year. So, I know alot of Sagittarius and Capricorns. I think sometime in January is Vikki's and Athena's birthday. Paul's birthday is in January. Oh yes, and the Aquarius, Shykia and little Nini have the same birthday on the 27th.
I never knew any one's birthday for the longest time. I knew everyone had a birthday. When was the hard part for me. I never knew mom's birthday was on New Years until she was telling me about a job interview that she was scheduled for on her birthday.
I think it was because I was always in bed on New Years Eve early. It never occurred to me that it was her birthday. I never realized that years went by either until sometime around 1987. I just aged myself you guys.
Speaking of forgetting birthdays, and I won't let him off the hook, dad forgot my birthday this year. He told me he confused my birthday with Shykia's. All I could think of was Sixteen Candles. I was just happy it was just him and nobody else.
I don't know what I want to do for my upcoming birthday. I would like to have people over and have a little dinner party at mi casa. Everyone is invited. Don't need to bring presents. Just bring yourself. BYOB.

My First Funeral

I haven't had very many jolly things to say this month, have I? Just a little bit I suppose. I have many bad things happen to me during the fall and winter. I don't know how it works out that way, but it just does. I was going to celebrate if I didn't end up in the emergency room for a second year in a row. That didn't happen. I am debating whether I want to get health insurance. The pay keeps getting lower while the cost of health insurance gets higher.
When I was 16, I was still in a world of innocence. I didn't know anything about my family history until I was in high school. I think just a couple days before Christmas, I was hanging out in my room. The phone rang and I picked it up. It was Grandma Maughan.
She wanted to speak to my mom. Come to find out, Grandpa had a heart attack. You know, I think this was Christmas Eve. I distinctly remember he died that day. It was weird for me.
I remember being scared to death of going to the funeral. I have never been to one before. I never been to an open casket funeral either. I stayed in the lobby through it. I saw the casket and Grandpa's hands sitting ever so still. Mom told me that there was nothing to be afraid of. It was just as though he was sleeping.
It is nothing like someone sleeping. I knew he was no longer with us. It scared me. I realized seeing someone "resting" wasn't so bad. I went to Grandma Maughan's funeral and got close to the casket. I wasn't scared that time.
There was something that really bothered me about his funeral. I hated the segregation and the need to control someone. I don't remember who it was, some elderly lady told me that I had to sit with her. Why? I wanted to sit with my dad. I hate when some stranger thinks that they can take control of someone and tell them where to sit. She was a relative, I didn't know her that well.
From then on, I never knew of any family feuds. It's so childish. That's one of those things that makes me want to turn to my father and tell him to grow up. Then again, I think it is sibling rivalry. I think it's natural that brothers and sisters fight. But, geeeez. It feels like everyone is involved. I never really got to see Uncle Tommy. Last time he saw me he was calling me Tara. Talk about uncomfortable silence. I rarely see my Aunt Sherry. I tried to contact her around the time of the funeral and she didn't call back.
If anyone were to ask me about it, I would just say I really don't want to hear about it. I don't want to be involved. I certainly don't want to take sides because I think both sides are being absurd. It gets to the point that nobody speaks to each other. I'm not talking just brother and sister. I am talking whole entire families of the siblings. When Justin and I fight, I don't involve anyone else. My parents had good timing to break us up when it was bad. I don't foresee any feuding between Justin and me. It would be a little odd. Then again, mom found it odd that me and him were having a conversation one night. I would hate to see the same scenario where we don't speak for a long time. It's bad enough we don't really speak that much today.
It doesn't bug me. It's kind of nice to hear a familiar voice every now and again. Now, that I am older I still don't understand. Why can't people just get along? It is so rare these days that families get together and have a barbacue.
I remember going to the grandparents homes on Christmas. I remember cool get togethers during the summer as well. It just seems that everything just faded away. Hmm..you know, I do have a huge backyard. Maybe when things are a little more finincially stable, I will have everyone come over. I think it would be cool to have some kind of pot luck. What do you guys think?

Need Batteries!

I have been doing the Craigslist thing. I discovered it is pretty fun to find free stuff that can be used and that nobody needs. I tend to get stuff that nobody needs. I have many things that I need to get rid of.
This month, I have been looking for Christmas lights. At random, I will see some free Christmas items. I was going to get some last weekend, somebody else beat me to the punch.
Paul and I went over to dad's house. I wanted to grab a keyboard. I won't even talk about the conversation we had before hand. Let's just say this, he is not willing to give his own daughter things. He is willing to sell things to his daughter. I always drive through Caldwell to get to Wilder. I hate the bad driving on the highway more than the bad driving in town. There have been some really horrible accidents in Nampa lately.
On the way there, there were cop cars lined up along the road. As I drove, I saw a sign that said there was going to be a night light parade. I wanted to stop, but my camera was home. Paul also forgot his winter coat at home. It looked like a pretty good parade, there were chairs lined all the way up the road.
We grabbed dad's keyboard and headed back home. We need to get either a 9v plug in or a bunch of AA batteries. There were flatbeds covered in lights. I think I saw a Jeep covered in lights. I think we made it at the tail end of the parade. We made a decision to go gallivanting down in Boise to see if there were any decorations up.
On the way, I had Paul look on Craigslist on his cell phone. As soon as he was on, there were Christmas decorations for free. He called them up and next thing you know, we were on our way to Eagle for some free stuff.
They gave us a train to go around the tree, white and silver ornaments, and some lights. Yay! The lady showed us a trick her dog can do. This dog gets just as excited as Frank does about carrots. Frank loves carrots and other veggies. The man there offered us a beer. Sadly, I declined. We were on our way to find decorated houses. I don't like drinking alcoholic beverages in a strangers home either. It makes me a little uneasy. They were a very nice couple though. They had a bunch of Christmas stuff to give away and they were splitting up the decorations among people that wanted some. I am pleased with what I received.
You would never think that white ornaments would belong on a white tree. They don't blend in. You can still see the white ornaments. They are shiny so they do stand out. I like it. I have white, purple, and black ornaments. Paul and I decorated the tree finally. If Lonkey eats anything off the tree, she is a dead dog. Nuff said.
Paul put together the track to see how it could fit. He kept on taking some tracks off. There still wasn't enough room. After checking out the train, this as well needs batteries. He kept on wanting to go to Walmart. I told him, I need money to get batteries. They are going to have to wait. (Not to mention that I am pissed at him for not letting me know he sold something again that he owed money for.)
We spent a couple of hours trying to figure out how we can put everything together. I have a small living room so there is limited space. I just rearranged my living room not to long ago. One of my outlets was finally replaced with a new one. I have an extra plug in in the house. Everything was put back to where it was before. Now the tree sits in front of the big window. It is decorated and has a train underneath. It looks really good.

How Christmas Really Was Stolen

Don't take this as a complaint. My parents divorced a long time ago. Like many kids, I took advantage of it. Hurray, two sets of parents! More gifts! Well, until the sister kept on having children. It makes me wonder if dad will give me a ton of money if I was fucking up my life...on second thought probably not because he would still be spending money on her.
Divorce can cause many changes. For me, it was an awakening. I came to an understanding on what things really were. What my parents are really like. I don't think I really understood anyone. It never occurred to me to even think about it.
Before, I would receive presents from mom and dad together. Maybe a present here and there from the grandparents. When they split in two, I realized I could try to get presents from them both. So, I pretty much got a ton of presents. I was a horrible child. I am probably an evil little child for taking advantage of a situation that was probably already causing a hardship. I didn't know any better.
I think that is something that took the thrill out of the holidays. The only thing that has been keeping me excited are Christmas trees, decorations, and the possibility of eating some kick ass food over at Rick and Joannes.
My advice to those who are going through a divorce and have kids, don't spoil them. Work out some negotiation together. If you cannot contact each other, make the present giving fun. Surprise the kids. When I made a list, I had two lists. The folks would get me everything on the list. Why is that? I never got everything I wanted before. I remember wanting a telescope and a microscope back in the day. I never got them. I am willing to bet I would have been able to get those after the break up. It takes the fun out of trying to figure out what your going to get.
I like the concept of being able to see relatives during the holidays. I am pretty awful about that. I don't think I really acquired the skill to be social. It makes me feel kind of guilty that I don't speak to someone. I spoke to my cousin Lisa last night. I can't remember the last time I saw her. She doesn't really know who I am. She isn't the only one. I have many more cousins that I have never spoken to and probably never even met. There are relatives that I do know that I don't speak to. I don't know what my deal is. I'm super shy and don't have much to say.
Now, that I look like a little monster. I have to go. I got rent to deposit. A father to harass. A plan to make. A job to help someone find. I need to eat something.

When I was Younger

I think my best Christmas's were when I was young and innocent. I actually believed in Santa. I don't remember when I quit believing. I think I overheard someone talking about what a sham it was.
My parents had this fake tree that had to be put together piece by piece. It was still convenient, they didn't have to put the needles into the branches. I liked the decorations. There was this little pink doll ornament that always drew my attention.
As the decorations were put up, there was Disney Christmas carols playing on the stereo system that had a record player. I liked that old school record player. It had those huge headphones. I think we kept messing the record player up by bouncing around all the time as it played. The stereo system remained relatively quiet. Dad had a collection of racy comedy albums. I don't remember it being on very often.
I liked Christmas morning. It was so thrilling to see all of those wrapped up gifts under the tree. I always liked what I got. Sometimes there was always something huge waiting for Justin and I. I got a doll house for my Barbies. I think I have it somewhere still. I think I got my purple bike. It was sold later on down the road. I got a ten speed.
I think I rode my nice new bike. I think I also had a new pair of snow boots. They were these grey, rubber boots.
I quit riding the bike after a while. When mom gave me my current bike, I gave my ten speed away to good will. I never had any skills to sell it. I held on to it for so long because of the sentimental value.

Get On The Ball

I went to my first day at EDS today. It was pretty cool. The instructor is funny. We talked about the history of HP and EDS. I learned a ton of cool stuff. I never realized how much stuff HP has done. I also learned more about Ross Perot. I never learned that much about him in government. Pretty cool history.
We also got on to the topic of infomercials. We talked about the Snuggie and Billy Mays. Someone said something about a remix of Billy's insurance commercial. I have been digging around and I have not found it.
Wells Fargo finally called me. Unfortunately, it was during my first day in training. I called them and told them that I am working at a new job. I will apply to them again if this doesn't work. It would not be benefitial for me to leave my new job and wait until Januarary. I wouldn't have received any unemployment if thta happened.
I am still doing really good in school so far. This past week has been really difficult. Hopefully, I did good at it.
I have to go to bed here soon. Another day to get up real early. I have to wake up at about 4:30am. It sucks.

Oh Christmas Tree

I am having a debate on whether or not I want to put my tree up this year. Many people are saying that, right? I had friends last month that already wanted to put up their Christmas decorations. I was tempted to do so myself. It was two weeks into November. I don't think anyone could help it. All of the stores went from Halloween to Christmas. They skipped Thanksgiving.
I don't mind putting everything up and then taking it down again. Mom bought me my first Christmas tree. It is white and has the lights on it already. I was hoping for a fiber optic tree. Fiber optic plants are kind of tacky. I love them, I think they are pretty. I think it's because I enjoy technology. Not very many people do like it as much as I do.
I have a huge collection of ornaments. I have old ornaments going back to when I was in kindergarten. I have this ugly, yellow yarn man that I made. I also have an ornament that I made in art when I was in middle school. I have random objects like bells, apples, and candy canes. I have a number of cat ornaments. Despite all the catnapping, I do like cats. I have a couple of puppy ones. I have a couple of Santa ornaments. One is in a box office and the other is on a flamingo. I have one Catwoman. I would like to have more Batman ornaments. I was going to get an ornament with a picture of a schnauzer on it, I decided that I could not afford it. I keep on looking at the stuff over at Cost Plus. I like the stuff that looks like it should be from an organic store.
I almost had more. Mom gave me a couple of boxes of Christmas decorations to go through. I grabbed some random stuff and gave the rest to good will. She gave me this singing tree at one point. I don't know what happened to it. I think it got destroyed throughout all of the moving I have done. I am always packing things up and moving somewhere. I have another miniature white Christmas tree and a little purple skirt.
I bought that little tree when I was living in that apartment in the basement. I think it was a week before Christmas, I fell down the stairs and sprained my ankle. Never rent from those people downtown. The roofing company would not take responsibility and neither would the land lord. I was responsible for what they had to take care of. I left them as soon as my lease was over. I will forever give both of those companies a bad name.
The reason I am a bit leery about putting out the Christmas decor is because of the room mates dog. She is a bit destructive. He will let her run around the house when nobody is home. Which is something I do not appreciate. I let him know a few times. I feel like I have a bunch of kids in the house. I am always repeating to not do something over and over again. I am afraid that she will grab stuff off the tree and chew it up. The idiot owner doesn't watch her or clean up after her. I wish Paul would hurry up and get a job so I can go on with my plan to get rid of Zack. I am so tired of this stress. I already have enough.
Maybe I will just put the tree up. I have a few random things that I can decorate the house with.

National AIDS Day

It is National AIDS Day. Alicia Keys is to perform live on YouTube. I guess I don't have to worry about recording it on my DVR. I lost interest in Alicia. Like many young artists, she is a sell out.
I would like to blog about the victims of this virus. I am not talking about those who were irresponsible. The ones who did drugs and the ones who decided that they were Don Juan. I think those people should be condemned.
I condemn prostitutes. I condemn those who made the decision to have sex with them.
I hate the fact that we live in a world that will not educate anyone about sex and what the outcome will be. It's not just about babies or pleasure. You can get disease. You can spread disease. This does not matter if you use a condom or not. I think that every country on this globe is shy about talking about the possibilities. Why? This can help prevent bad things from happening. What is wrong with planning the future instead of having a surprise?
Today, on AIDS Day, I will be thinking of Africa. I saw a documentary on HBO about the suspicion on how the virus started. The documentary spoke of the vaccine for polio. They stated that the vaccine came from chimps. The doctors went to Africa to vaccinate Africans. They used these chimpanzees that carried a virus that is linked to HIV.
In Africa, there is quite a bit of distress. It is filled with those who carry around machetes. They butcher people. They kidnap children. They rape girls and women. This happens other countries. The attention is more so drawn to Africa. I don't know much about this country. I know that it is really violent there. Especially, in places that are poor.
There is a documentary called I Am Because We Are. It is a touching movie. Many children have been orphaned because of this disease. Malawi is one of the poorest places in the world. There are hardly any adults that live here. Can you imagine if that was going on here? The United States would be over run with children without adult supervision.
I know what your thinking, it's a Madonna flick. I think people should watch this even though someone scandalous made it. You may not realize this, but Madonna is actually a smart person. She has an intellect that would probably floor you. Instead of watching Alicia Keys singing on YouTube, you should go to Hulu and watch I Am Because We Are. Many things would be brought to your attention.

http://www.iambecauseweare.com/
http://www.raisingmalawi.org/

Once Upon A Time...

In a town called Emmett, it used to snow hard. We were knee deep in snow. Then one day, people who thought there was opportunity in Idaho started to move in. Then all these houses were built and traffic got high. The sky became more polluted and we are lucky when we see snow. We are lucky if snow stays for about a week.
I have met all kinds of people. I remember when I worked at Boise West, a lady and her little boy were fascinated with the snow. I asked them what was so incredible about it. They were from Arizona and never have seen snow before. I learned something about Arizona. It made me wonder if they were confused by the song Let It Snow whenever they heard it.
People often ask me if it snows up here. Well, yes, if you are further north in Idaho. Snow these days will melt within the same day that it fell. Paul is from Minnesota and he is always talking about how much snow is over there. There is something that he doesn't understand. It used to be that way here to.
Back when I was a kid, snow stuck around for what seemed like an eternity. I used to sled down a hill in front of the house. Dad would shovel the snow from the drive way and pile it all onto the front yard. I had this cool sled that was a blue sheet of plastic that rolled up. This sled was super slick. I would slide so fast down the hill. At one point we made some kind of a snow wall that was beside the hill. It was fun. I would slide down the hill and up the side of the wall. That didn't last long. Mom made that stop because the wall went into the road.
I also went over to Butte View and played on the playground. They used to have this hug slide that went up a hill. A bunch of kids and I would go there and sled down the hill. I lost interest because too many kids were going and it was nothing but sand at one point.
Snow was fun for school. During recess the kids would make snow angels. They also would roll snow into these gigantic snow balls. I sometimes would make a snow fort without the walls.
I used to love snow. Then I learned how to drive. I can drive in the snow. I am just more worried about the moron in front of me. It never fails when the first snow flake falls. Some idiot that has never driven in it before, gets into an accident. When driving in snow, don't hit the breaks so freaking much.
I used to work in the snow as well. I worked at two different car washes in about three winter seasons. You would think they are seasonal. They are open year round. When you drive in snow, you get this greasy mess on your car. Idaho puts this ice melt crap on the road that eats your rims and puts a mess all over your car. It's disgusting. So, the car wash is open. It was dead during these days. We would spend the day scrubbing the walls or shoveling the lot. Working there caused a great deal of damage to my skin on my face. I have sun damage from the summer and wind damage from the winter.
The days of snow slowly faded away. I hardly noticed it. There was a day when mom and I were out and about. It was on a day when it was supposed to be snowing. We pondered on if it was going to snow ever again. Not too long after there had been some good snow days. I still don't see as much snow as I used to. Who knows? We might get lucky here. It has been snowing at random. It snowed once in October and in November. This might be a pretty good winter.

The Three Wisepeople

When I was growing up in Emmett, I was in musicals. I was in so many. There were pageants in school as well as church. I don't really know how many I was in. I know I wasn't in anymore plays since moving to Boise.
I was in the land of Oz twice. I dated Oz in the second round. Oz (Charles) was in a vampire movie that was made here in Idaho by people in Idaho. Mom didn't go to my last play. According to Mr. Schnieder, there weren't going to be anymore plays. Come to find out, he directed more plays. He just had to give his son an opportunity, right?
That is the thing about parents who put plays together. They shouldn't. Plays should be put together by students. This way, everyone can have a fair chance. I can't tell you how many big parts the Schafers got. Mrs. Schafer was the one that made the costumes in the play. It's a conspiracy. I didn't hate them. I like the Schafer kids. I just didn't get why their mother had control of all of the productions.
Another thing about a play is that there are no small parts, just small people. I think that is how it goes. Maybe it is there are no small parts, just small brains. No, that's not it either. When someone was cast in a part that they were offended by, they try the powers that be to get out of that role...and steal mine.
There was one musical I was in at Butte View. I don't remember what it was about. I guess we were all playing a bunch of farm animals. I was cast as a blue bird. I think I got my part down. Then suddenly, Gina didn't want to be the pig. She was a pretty good sized girl and it probably offended her that she was cast as the pig. Guess who they pick for a change to take place? Me. They didn't even ask either. They told me that I was going to be the pig. Hell no, I was already the bird. I was infuriated. I fought and kept my role as the bird. I think she kept her role as the pig. I can't remember.
This was no different in church. When I was in "Teens", we were doing a Christmas pageant. Some way or another Mrs. Elwood had control of the casting. I think her name is Terry. I was cast as one of the three wise men along with another girl. They made it look like some fiasco. Terry said that there was no such thing as a woman wise man. Me and the other girl were changed to shepherds. I didn't know that they had women as shepherds either. This gets interesting. Come time for the play, her daughter Tammy was cast as one of the wisemen. Nobody was allowed to say anything about it either. That was a time when I should have stood up for myself as well.
Mrs. Elwood is stuck up. If I was to pick anyone to be in charge of anything, it certainly would not be her. She showed that she is a two-faced chauvinist pig. It could tick off anyone that thinks highly of her. I don't think highly of her.

People Think I'm the Nut?

I may be a sinner. I haven't attended church on a regular basis since I was 13. I have been to church a couple of times since then. Once on a Sunday when I was invited. I once went to church at midnight on Christmas Eve. That was pretty nice.
I liked going to church sometimes. I never got why I had to go when my parents didn't. That is why I quit going. That and some of the people were stuck up. Don't believe me? I can tell you a story about Mrs. Elwood. Maybe in another blog. I think these next few blogs I will talk about winter and Christmas.
I like to listen to obscene music. I like to collect obscene movies. I swear on occasion. I don't drink or smoke that often. I never did drugs. Some people are shocked by this. How come people are shocked that I never did drugs? I will let everyone know now, I never felt an interest in it. Do I feel curious about drugs? RARELY.
Some may call me agnostic. Some people think I am a Mormon. I am a Nazarene. Some people are shocked by this as well. Yes, I used to go to church. I used to dress up in cute dresses. Like many outside of this region that don't know what a Mormon is, some people don't know what a Nazarene is. Honestly, I don't know what one is either. When I watch the Simpsons, their church reminds me of the Nazarene church. If that gives you an idea, good. If not, try Little House on the Prairie.
I am an open minded person. After reading about Mormon history, I have respect for them. I really don't care for the religion but I respect those who are Mormon. I even have an interest in religion from other countries. I have respect for anyone who follows whatever religion they wish. To me, they are all alike. All of them worship God. If I was become a regular at a church and take my pick I think I would be Lutheran or Jewish. I think it would be fun to be Jewish. I have a friend who is Jewish and when she talks about religious get togethers, I am in awe.
I am not going to be visiting any church anytime soon. I am not in the mood to be standing up every so often to sing from a hymnal. It's not me. It all feels so, cheesy. I don't know if I believe in God or not. I do believe that we were made by something powerful. I watched a show on meteors one day. In some country, people gather around a meteor and worship it. It inspired me to write a story one day. I think I have it somewhere on writers cafe. Maybe I'll post it for you guys. You might like it.
You might be wondering why I am blogging about religion today. Okay, I'll get to the point here in a minute. I only have about five channels that are in English. I have nothing but educational and religious programming. The channels I have are making me think a little. I know why I am picking up just a few channels from the antenna. The government thinks the people who didn't get a converter box are stupid. For those who could not get a converter box, we are being educated. That's my take on it. Okay, moving forward.
Peggy Kilgore was one of my Sunday school teachers. She was also a teacher of mine in school. Wow! I sound like one of those people from the country. There was one day that she was talking to the Sunday school class about the end of the world. It is pretty funny in a way. A Sunday school teacher will talk to you about Armageddon the same way a parent will talk to you about sex. (I bet you didn't know Armageddon is an actual town either, did ya?)
The end of the world seems like a weird thing to me. Every time I turn around, churches will put a sign up saying Jesus is coming. People freak out about the silliest things. Remember the 2000 bug? Get a grip! I can easily see how we can think that the end is near. Was life ever easy here? No, it wasn't. I believe that we can put an end to the world. I think it will be caused by us humans. Yeah, we could possibly all be wiped out from a pandemic. One person could just slip up at a job and/or in a public place and get everyone else around them sick. I believe that we just might up and blow each other sky high. There are probably enough atomic bombs to blow up the whole entire solar system. We could get hit by a huge meteor. We might pollute the Earth so bad we all might end up dead from it. Minus the meteor, we don't have anything to worry about if we start being responsible.
Getting back to the very few channels I have. I was surfing through to see if there was anything interesting. I ran across these kits for sale along with a bunch of other crap. The kits were enough to keep one person fed a couple of years. These were in case of the event of the rapture. What?! That's right, the rapture. This was on the religious channel I have. (Unless I have the Hellivision channel). Yeah, I better get right on that one because I am going to be left behind. Just like everyone else on this stinking planet. Well, except for Ned Flanders and Peggy Kilgore.

To My Amusement

There are people out there that try to lie to me. I think it is the most funny thing. I am perfectly capable of seeing past a lie. I have so much experience, I should be a lie detector. What gives someone the gumption to think I am gullible?
I have known Athena since she was about 12. The very first day I met her was when I went to visit dad one day. He had these strange people in his house. I think we all went to do something that day. I can't really remember. I was up all night talking to Athena.
She did most of the talking. I just sat there listening to her stories. Her tales were so tall I found it entertaining. I think she should use all of that energy to write books. I knew from day one she was a liar. Within minutes, I knew she was full of shit.
Everyone knows she is full of it. To my astonishment, she still attempts to lie to everyone. It's fascinating that she will still do that. Many, many, many people know what the real story is. I won't tell the secret of how I know. That would only make her better. Pathological liars are the dumbest people on the planet. I don't know why anyone says someone is a "pathological liar". Why put it that way. Such a huge word makes them sound like they are a pro at being a liar. If your a pro, aren't you supposed to be able to lie and get away with it?
Paul and I went to dad's house the day before yesterday. To my knowledge, dad picked her up. From what Justin told me, Athena is supposed to be going to a hospice for alcoholics. I have no idea when though. Probably never because, well you know how my dad is.
Athena was there at his house when we arrived. These days, I'm in a very inquisitive stage. I question everything. I think there are a ton of dumb people in the world and I am smarter than them. I'm passing my classes with flying colors right now. Do you blame me?
Dad and Paul go outside to work on the car. I am sitting in the kitchen working on my paper that is due Friday. Athena comes out of hiding and starts talking to me. Remember, I am inquisitive right now and I am working on something.
She is aware of me being jobless. I have employment coming up. She goes off saying that she is going to school and is studying something that has something to do with the mind. Really? I wonder if she meant psychology. Then she told me that she was going to be working for the prison. Quite quickly she said that she never thought that she would be a cop. Hmm, with a criminal history??
I looked at her and asked, "Really? What school is this through?"
She paused. I know she was trying to think of something quick. She stammered, "It's Browns? I was going to do that Steven Henniger college. I'm just trying it for a couple of days to see what I think of it."
I told her, "Never heard of it."
She finally went back to her room. I really doubt you can try a college and see how you like it. Nice try. I asked dad if she was really going to school. No, she is not. I hate when people try to lie. It makes them look like an idiot.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Today, I have a lot to be happy for. I am grateful for a fun and cool as beans family. I cannot thank them enough for the support I have from them.
I am grateful for an interesting fellow that has been helping around the house. He has done a ton of work around the house. He also has helped take care of my animals and cheer up Frank.
I am grateful for my loyal companion. Frank does not start drama. He doesn't chew stuff up or dig holes in the yard.
I am thankful for having cool friends.
I am thankful that I have the experience that will open the door for good paying employment opportunities.
I am thankful for an interesting online schooling option.
I will be going to mom's today. I am hoping that there is no delay. At the last second last night, Paul asked me if his daughter can stay over. I am thinking, sure but where is she going to stay? How on earth is she going to get back home? I can't drive to Hailey. As much as I would like to go.
I sent notification that we were bringing the munchkin over. We picked her up from McDonnald's. She loved the cat. Logan loved the attention. I gathered all of my kid movies. I dug around for some toys. I couldn't get my Barbies because Dino lives on top of their box. We stayed up all night watching Disney cartoons. I didn't get any sleep because she slept between us. I kept on waking up to a little foot in my side.
I think Paul is coming to the conclusion that I am a big kid. He didn't know I had a bunch of kids movies. He didn't even know I had some toys sitting in random areas. I have lots of old toys. I have prizes from Happy Meals, cereal box prizes, the old rubber Care Bears, Jem and the Holigrams, Barbie, My Little Pony, Rainbow Brite, and much much more.
Now, I am going to see if I can get them up so we can make it in time for mom's shin dig.

This Happens Too Much

Cramming to get everything done may be bad for me. Don't get me wrong. I have been trying everything in my power to take breaks from the computer. I am writing a story, it probably will not be ready til after Thanksgiving. I have a lot to do.
I have to gather my financial crap together so I can see how I can manage my house payments. I have to get into my 401k again. I have a ton of questions about the new fund. I have to speak to the Idaho Department of Labor and see what the delay is. I would find another job however, I don't think it would be long enough a stay with the new job on the way. I have to find out where the other bills went to for my emergency visit in September. I have to talk to the health department to see if there are any new developments in the investigation.
To top it all off, and to stay sane, I have been cleaning house. The fridge needed to be cleaned really bad. I cleaned the bathroom. I cleaned up the floor in the living room a bit. I think I may move some stuff around so I can clean the whole floor. I am thinking of rummaging through some one's room to find stolen goods. Just in case he decides to bail. By the way, all of my silverware appeared out of nowhere after I posted the rules.
Yesterday, I made the margarita bites. It was so much fun. I remembered some roast beef that mom gave me. I made my first roast beef with some carrots, cucumbers, beef broth, and Mrs. Dash in my little crock pot. I spent pretty much the whole day in the kitchen. Then I rested because I was so stinking tired. Today, I made a key lime pie. I think this one will be my best yet!
Tomorrow, I start up with the schooling again. I have a paper to post and two responses to make. Then the next day, I have a discussion question to answer and two more responses to students. Then on Thanksgiving, I have another paper due. No worries. I will have the paper finished and posted before I head over to mom's.
What has been making this whole paper thing bad is that I have a sleeping issue. Whenever I have a schedule, I wake up in a frenzy. I know I get things done. I try not to forget anything. I know last month I forgot to pay my phone bill, I thought I paid it. This morning, I thought I forgot to turn in something in school. I quickly got out of bed worried about a mystery assignment. My heart was racing. Paul even got up trying to figure out what was wrong. He went back to bed. When I went to turn on the computer, I realized I already have assignments done and ready to submit. I was so scared even my tongue was beating. I think I swallowed my heart.
I don't think it is stress from school. Maybe I am stressed out because I don't know if I will get grammar, puncuation, and commas down? I have been having a ton of fun in there. I go there to get away from it all. I think I am more stressed about money right now. I'm worried about the unemployment stuff. That idiot Zack is stressing me out. There is stress there. I wish that call centers hired a little faster than a couple of weeks. I think Proactive Solutions is going to be fun.

Gone for the Holiday

I am going to be knee deep in school. While one class is taking Thanksgiving off, the other one is not. So, I have to have my work done by Thanksgiving. I may be absent from here for a while.
I am going to be needing to practice getting up earlier in the morning. From what I was calculating, I will need to be up for work at about 4:30am. This will be going on for about two weeks. Hopefully, that will change with a shift bid.
I am also working on my unemployment stuff. I had a problem with submitting it today. I am left wondering since I cannot call anyone. Why do they recommend doing that on a Sunday anyway? I'm thinking of submitting my claims on Monday so I can speak to someone if I mess up.
While I am going through all of this fun stuff, I am also going to be working on things for Thanksgiving. Mom asked me to bring a pie. I am going to make a key lime pie. I am also going to make some margarita bites. I'm going to try my best anyway. I went grocery shopping at the lowest priced place I could go to. They didn't have anymore of that Jello I wanted.
For now, I am off. I have a busy day tomorrow.

2nd Holiday List

Here is some stuff that I would like to see that is either out or is coming soon. If you want to avoid the Twilight garbage, here is a list of stuff that looks good. The Blind Side is playing in theaters as we speak.

Sandra Bullock isn't my personal hero. She has been in some good movies lately.



This looks really cute. I think mom is going to want to watch this one.



This one, I think we could be able to live without. I like Jude Law and I don't like Robert Downey Jr. This might be better than it seems.



This one looks like something you would find at The Flicks. Looks pretty good.



This one is getting all the rave. Someone is saying Oscar.

Escaping in My Head

I am chilling today. My dad, he needs backbone. He went to pick up the beast. I was about ready last night to kick Zack out on his fanny. Paul needs to be lectured as well. He told me not to say anything to Zack last night, I really should have said something. Who's house is this anyway?
I was working away on the computer. I was trying my hardest to make my paper work. I decided to finally remove the first sentence that was causing me such anguish. Jeremiah comes knocking on the door.
The dog was locked in the room and causing noise. I gave him the go ahead to let her out. I thought it was just her and I thought it was unusual to be making noise. Then I saw who was being loud. There was another dog that belonged to Zack's friend. I really didn't appreciate them leaving the dogs in the room. I also didn't like the fact that his friend can't leave his dog at home.
When he got home, I was told not to say anything. I am really close to telling this guy off. It was not too long ago that Paul told me that Zack lifted a voice recorder . Really? Another thief stealing in my house? I told him to call the cops. He is waiting until Zack is in jail.
Then, to my astonishment, Paul told me last night that Zack's friends were not of legal age to drink. That is the limit. This is really pissing me off because I cannot afford to lose a room mate right now. It's hard to say if he will pay rent next month. If he goes to jail at the beginning of next month his shit is being thrown out the door and I don't have a clue where his dog went. Paul debated on what to do about the situation.
I don't have time to babysit everyone and their dog. I am busy. I am still looking at different work opportunities. I am going to school. I spent the whole day working on a paper. I am feeling anxiety because of Zack again.
I woke up this morning and typed up some rules. I have typed up rules before. Zack wrote on the rules. He seems to have this obsession with Jeremiah. He blames everything on him. He has to blame something he does on someone else. What the hell is his problem? Is he really an adult or a teenager?
Anything else bad goes on that I don't approve of, people are being kicked out. No ands, ifs, or buts. I about pounded on Zack's door to wake him up while he was hung over. I wanted to rip his head off. I better not see his friends here to drink again. I am going to be aggressive about putting my foot down. I will say something here very soon and nobody will be able to stop me. I will call the proper people next time as well.
I have been looking through Craigslist for stuff. I have my eyes open for a step ladder. Anything I can use. I found some 35mm film. I grabbed that. I also saw an ad for a free Thanksgiving dinner. Who in the right mind would post that on a list full of creeps? Their intentions are nice. I was thinking that they might not be good Samaritans either.

A Little Help

I am excited [The passive voice is a form of "be" (am) and a participle (excited). Over-use of the passive voice can make paragraphs tedious to read and officious. Try to use the active voice most often, e.g., the student completed the paper on time. The passive voice version: The paper was completed on time by the student. Note how often the passive voice appears in your paper.] to go back [ Eliminate colloquial language in academic writing. Colloquial language is informal phrasing that is used when speaking, but it is not acceptable in academic writing. Use return instead of go back. ] to class again. I called my friend Julie as soon as I enrolled. I told her how excited I was to be going to college through the internet.


This is driving me crazy, I have sent my paper through the proof reading thing four times and I have corrected this three. I need to figure out how to keep this from sounding passive. I even took the work shop on the difference between passive and active sentences.

There is a God!

Where we last left off with drama in Wilder, the step child was telling my father she only has so long to live and was going to lose feeling in her hands and feet. Dad called her bluff.
We could all see this was just a ploy for her to get back into dad's house and have him taxi her around. Same as before, again and again. He's retired you fool! How do you think the children would feel if their grandparents welcomed someone that ruined their lives back into their home? If it were me, I would be pissed off and refuse to talk to the grandparents. Children are human beings. It's not like you can break them and take them back to the store. It doesn't work that way. I've said it before, it just boggles my mind.
To boot, both of the step kids in jail are brainstorming ways to get back into the parents house. It's not going to happen! If Vikki is gullible enough to fall for their stint, she is in for the very thing that she was trying to get out of. The only way to make things change is to stop listening to them. With people like that, you don't continue to help them. They are clearly showing signs of not changing. Great big pink neon sign. WE ARE NOT GOING TO CHANGE. Don't you see it blinking in the distance?
So, dad talked to the doctor. The doctor needed her consent. She signed the paperwork consenting. I don't know if it was out of sheer stupidity. I don't know if it is because she thinks she is living her lie. Nah, she's naive.
As it turned out, Athena is not loosing the feeling in her limbs. She is not going to die before 45. Unless it is by dumb luck anyway. Of course, the parents are mad at her for telling her information sensitive mother. Athena is mad at dad for calling her bluff. My dad is slow, okay? He is not as dumb as people think. There is a very smart guy under all that aged speed.
Athena's next move was to tell him that she will be on the streets if there is no place to go. Think again, there is no way they will let her be on the street. She will not be let out until she is in a home. The last thing we need is another baby on the way.

Will I Still Be Lucky?

For me, it has been easy to find another job. I had an interview set up before I was not longer with Direct. I think my interview was about a week after. Then in about a week or so, I have another coming up here.
I went to orientation today. I will be working for Volt. I will be working on a temp basis with EDS for about 6 months. If all goes well, I will be converting to work for EDS. I totally believe I can do it. I'll be placing orders, cancelling orders, reselling the value of the product, telling someone how to use the product. How hard can it be? I'm sure the product sells itself. I am a little curious about it.
I went and took a drug test. They are going to be doing a background check. All that fun stuff. I did all this a couple months ago, I am sure nothing has changed since that time frame.
So, I have taken four days of class. I am kind of getting the hang of college. It has been frustrating. Everything is organized. Everything is in a few different areas which makes the whole thing really confusing. I had printed out agendas and calendars hoping to have everything down. Now, if I can get the rules down. I have to post an assignment and respond to fellow pupils. Now I have to figure out who I can harass about University of Phoenix. I have a paper due this week on explaining going to an online college. Something like that. For now, I will take a break.
I have someone who is begging for cheese burgers. I keep asking if he is buying but of course, he is not. I'll be damned if I have to spend anymore money today. I already took him to an interview and I took him to Rocky's Diner for lunch.

Speak of The Devil

Vacation moving along slowly but surely. It would be nice to have something in the meantime while I get real employment. I have been looking. I think last week I submitted over 10 resumes, personality tests, and applications.
I was exhausted from all the work today. I had been taking my online classes to relax. The classes are kind of cool. Nothing I had never done before in school. I'm not incredibly impressed with the generic answers I have read in there. One teacher is personable while the other is not. I am taking two classes. Read, analyze, and write.
Today, I emailed two resumes from postings in Craigslist. Believe it or not. I went to Boise. I turned in my papers to the union. Paul liked them. I like the union, they are cool people. I want to be a steward.
I went to Gem Staffing and turned in my resume. I went to The Youth Ranch and filled out an application for a store clerk. Both of these were on Craigslist as well. There is a ton of stuff open today. My friend Shannon texted me for help to find her friend a job. I referred them to Qwest. I don't care what anyone says, they freaking rock! I miss my work family. She asked me to be a reference. I said of course! Besides, Shannon is probably going to get a few calls because of me. I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. Shannon is the shit.
I get home, take my class. Play some games. Blog. I am sure I'm boring everyone to death. I am on the computer all day and I have the Internet. I check my email hoping to hear some positive news. There it is, Volt responded. They are a staffing agency.
I never have high hopes for staffing agencies mind you. Typically, the results are bad and they end up sticking you in the temp positions. The last one was really rude to me to. What the hey? Volt sent me two emails, one was with a link for an application and the other had a link for the tests.I worked on both which took me about an hour.
Around 8:45ish pm, I have an email again asking if she can call. Thinking...no minutes left on phone..not doing anything. I give her the go ahead. I get a phone call about 10 minutes later.
The job is relation to a call center for HP. It is an inbound call for Proactive Solutions. That should be stinking easy. I asked her a few questions and she will doing some research for me. She also told me that they have a link to WDSGlobal. Which thrilled me a bit because they are still hiring for technical support. I like technical support.
So, I have a pending job on the way. As far as I know, if this all works out, I will be starting December 3. Yay!

Down With Right To Work!!

Inside Mission Statement

http://msn.careerbuilder.com/Article/MSN-2083-Workplace-Issues-15-Signs-Your-Workplace-is-Dysfunctional/?sc_extcmp=JS_2083_home1&SiteId=cbmsnhp42083&ArticleID=2083>1=23000&cbRecursionCnt=1&cbsid=a008a131e1f84425aaa212973fc23a1d-311687778-wv-6

Does your job drive you crazy? Do you sometimes wonder if you are the only sane person in working there? Is your workplace dysfunctional, or is it you? Here's how to find out.

Based on more than 30 years of experience as psychologist and business consultant, I've put together a checklist of 15 diagnostic signs of a psychologically dysfunctional business. Is it the job, or is it you?

Sign No. 1: Conspicuously posted vision or value statements are filled with vague but important-sounding words like "excellence" and "quality."
These words are seldom defined and the concepts they allude to are never measured.


Sign No. 2: Bringing up a problem is considered as evidence of a personality defect rather than as an observation of reality.
In a dysfunctional company, what it looks like is not only more important than what it is, it is what it is. If you don't believe that, you are the problem. A surprising amount of information is classified. Dysfunctional companies have more state secrets than the CIA. Anything that might embarrass the boss turns out to be a national security issue.

Sign No. 3: If by chance there are problems, the usual solution is a motivational seminar.
Attitude is everything, especially in places where facts are embarrassing or inconvenient. In a dysfunctional family, there's an elephant -- usually a drunken abusive parent -- in the parlor, but no one ever mentions him. To appear sane, you have to pretend that the elephant is invisible, and that drives you crazy. Businesses are full of invisible elephants, too. Usually they are things that might cause difficulties for people with enough clout to prevent their discussion. The emperor may be naked, but if you have a good attitude, you won't mention it.

Sign No. 4: Double messages are delivered with a straight face.
Quality and quantity are both job one. You can do it both cheaper and better, just don't ask how. If you're motivated enough, you should know already. (I hope Emily gets this one.)

Sign No. 5: History is regularly edited to make executive decisions more correct, and correct decisions more executive than they actually were.
Those huge salaries require some justification.

Sign No. 6: People are discouraged from putting things in writing.
What is written, especially financial records, is purposely confusing. You can never tell when you might need a little deniability.

Sign No. 7: Directions are ambiguous and often vaguely threatening.
Before you respond to a vague threat, remember this: Virtually every corporate scandal begins with someone saying, "Do it; I don't care how." That person is seldom the one who gets indicted. (Again, Emily. No, apparently nobody is going upward. I have been watching management going down a level instead of up.)

Sign No. 8: Internal competition is encouraged and rewarded.
The word "teamwork" may be batted around like a softball at a company picnic, but in a dysfunctional company, the star players are the only ones who get recognition and big bucks.

Sign No. 9: Decisions are made at the highest level possible.
Regardless of what it is, you have to check with your boss before doing it. She also has to check with her boss.

Sign No. 10: Delegating means telling somebody to do something, not giving them the power to do it.
According to Webster's Dictionary, you delegate authority, not tasks. In dysfunctional companies, you may have responsibility, but the authority lives in the office upstairs.

Sign No. 11: Management approaches from the latest best-seller are regularly misunderstood to mean what we're doing already is right on the mark.
"Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," "Good to Great" and "Who Moved My Cheese?" all seem to boil down to, "quit griping and do more with less."

Sign No. 12: Resources are tightly controlled.
Your department may need upgraded software, but there's been a spending freeze since 2006. Cost control is entry-level management, but in a dysfunctional company, anything more sophisticated is considered too touchy-feely. Whatever you propose, the first question you will be asked is if it can be done cheaper.

Sign No. 13: You are expected to feel lucky to have a job and know you could lose it if you don't toe the line.
Dysfunctional companies maintain control using the threat of punishment. Most will maintain that they also use positive rewards ... like your paycheck. A few people are actually fired, but most of those who go are driven to quit. (Wow, what coorporation could POSSIBLY remind me of this??)

Sign No. 14: Rules are enforced based on who you are rather than what you do.
In a dysfunctional company, there are clearly insiders and outsiders and everyone knows who belongs in each group. Accountability has different meanings depending on which group you're in.

Sign No. 15: The company fails the Dilbert Test.
Dysfunctional organizations have no sense of humor. People who post unflattering cartoons risk joining the ranks of the disappeared. When an organization loses the ability to laugh at itself, it is headed for big trouble. If you'd get in trouble for printing this article and posting it on the bulletin board at work, maybe it's time to look for another job before this one drives you crazy.

Bing: Is TV's 'The Office' dysfunctional?

Video: Dilbert comic: Steaming Pile of Failure

Albert J. Bernstein, Ph.D., is the author of the best-sellers "Dinosaur Brains" and "Emotional Vampires." His newest book is "Am I the Only Sane One Working Here? 101 Solutions for Surviving Office Insanity." For more information on how to stay sane at work, visit Dr. Al's Web site, www.albernstein.com.

Copyright 2009 Albert J. Bernstein All rights reserved. The information contained in this article may not be published, broadcast or otherwise distributed without prior written authority.

I Love You, But Your Breath Stinks

I know, I know. I have my own home, I can do whatever I freaking please here. If there is something that goes on, I put my foot down. I will not tolerate bull crap. At all.
My father, he has his own house. Vikki is my step mom and she owns the house as well. They can do whatever they damn well please. If they want to be a victim of their own demise, that's fine. There is something that dad is going to have to understand, his own flesh and blood is tired of the bullshit. We love you and we are going to be protective of you, dad. This could very well involve intelligent manipulation on Vikki and dad. What's more powerful than a pathological lie? The truth.
I love my step siblings. Most may not like that. You know what? They are my brother and sister. Just as little Justin is my brother as well. I know Morgan is a dumb ass and he may never get out of jail. That's his own damn fault. Athena? Well, she is an interesting character. She is my one and only sister. It's a love and hate relationship when it comes to Vikki's children. Underneath all of the bluff, they can be kind people. Can be. The parents need to let them be on their own to figure things out. They have had enough moral support, but they take that support and they neglect it. Apparently, it is time to stop and start saying no.
Morgan has been telling them once more that he will help around the house when he is out. He is a wonderful help. In fact, I like nice Morgan. He is good at yard work and he is a pro at fixing a lawn mower. That sweet guy is only temporary. Then he turns into this evil little thug want to be. He has proved it time and time again. Him and Athena turn into these mega manipulation machine masterminds. Isn't anyone tired of this proof?
Athena told dad that she had a doctors visit. She says that she was told her illness is getting worse. She will be losing use of her hands and her feet and that she won't live past the age of 45. She says that she will need assisted living. Well, put her into assisted living in a home. Call her bluff and see what happens. She seems to think that she can waltz back into dad and Vikki's home.
Vikki is getting on dad's case about his attitude towards the whole situation. My father is a retired person and he has not even been able to be retired because he keeps playing cab driver. I am respectful for concern for her kids. It's natural, she is the mom.
For as much as my dad has done for the step kids. For as much money as he spent on them. It is time for her to listen to her step children the same as he has done for hers. Vikki is one person. One. Justin and I are two people. We can easily come up with a bigger army than one person.
Athena's condition getting worse? Take this into consideration, Athena damaged her kids permanently. She did not take care of her kids. Why should dad stoop down to help her? She had received enough help. Enough is an understatement. She has received way too much help. Shykia's EYE is damaged, okay? She locked up her kids in their rooms without bathroom privileges. She treated her children like they were animals.
Athena, I like you. You are my sister. You are going to have to take things into perspective. I know this is why you don't come to me for assistance. I would expect our parents would treat you the same way as you parented your children. If you are manipulating my dad you need to stop. If you are smart, you would understand what kind of battle you are going to ensue and fail.

Depp and Burton Unite!

When The Dark Knight opened, there was a rumor for another Batman movie being made. Would they be saddened about one of the actors that died and decline to make a new one? Yeah, many were devastated about Heath. I doubt that would keep anyone from making more. The Matrix sequels were still made.
The hopes for the new Batman movie is still around. People are talking about Harlequin being in the next one. They even said that Johnny Depp was going to play the Mad Hatter. Rumors are being put to rest, unless Johnny gets type cast.

How The Vacation is Goin

I miss the new family I was working with. They were so sweet. As much as I don't want to, I reminisce about the day I left. People were waving good-bye and telling me good luck. I could see concern. There was one that stopped me before I got out the door and gave me a hug.
Until I am back again, I will be, I search for something in the mean time. I think I submitted about 10 or more applications. I got an email back from World Market. Which would be really cool because I am a worldly kind of person. I love the the stuff that they sell. Some of my house is decked out in stuff from them. Very good resource for redecorating the bathroom.
I went to the employment office to file for unemployment once more. Paul got a call from Office Depot for an interview, I am hoping he gets the job. He could very well be commuting and paying for parking. Heck, I still have the rest of the month left over on my parking pass. I can give that to him.
The door knob had to be replaced on the door. Dad went and bought me a new door knob. My financial situation is going to go out of control. One room mate is going down hill and I am getting the feeling that he will be going soon. He causes drama for the other room mate. I think he picks on him because he is a big guy. There is a conspiracy going on against him that needs to stop. The other guy pays his rent on time and doesn't use other peoples stuff and he is not an alcoholic. The one going downhill blames everything on the big guy. I have noticed something, the big guy is not the one using everyone else's razors nor is he clogging up the drains. The dog, I'm not going to dog sit, his mother can watch him. I am going to be home often, guess what, my foot is going down and I am taking control.
I was getting ready to go to Justin's house. As soon as I was headed for the door, the roomie tells me that he will leave the dog out. I tell him that we are headed out of town. He says that the dog can stay out. Um...hell no. I waited til he was gone and the dog went back in the room. I did not want to come home to something being chewed up or shit on. It's bad enough the cat does that.
Justin had a little toddler running around the house. The kid freaked out when he saw Frank. He would start to cry. We got the little guy playing with Franky. He attempted to play fetch where Frank was actually the target. You know how excited Frank gets when you throw the ball? He stomps and he barks. The kid started to cry again. I think he got over it, he was chasing Frank around with a choo choo train. I cut the visit short. I had to turn the furnace back on for the night and let the cat back out.
Today, I went to mom's to rake the yard. She fed me and Paul and gave us some cash.
Tomorrow, I play catch up. I am going to go in person to get assistance with the unemployment. I also need to grab my pay stub because they email those internally. Have to catch up with World Market and show my affection toward the company. Then I am hoping to hear from WDSGlobal again. I heard from them before but at the time I declined. I also start my schooling tomorrow and I have to try to have a quick conversation with Mabel because I have about 100 minutes left over on my cell phone. I do not want another huge bill. I already have a huge one coming up here from Qwest. I dropped my phone line and upgraded my Internet speed.
For now, I will run off. Have some visiting to do.

For Uncle Phil

Quite Silly

What Does it All Mean Bazzle?

Whoever thought of the questions to ask in the personality test should get a class action lawsuit. They let the bad and grumpy people have a job. Which leaves the good people out of work.
It doesn't matter what kind of job it is. You have to take these tests for a minimum wage job. It's not even worth the effort. I have a wonderful personality. I am customer oriented and it's fun for me to use my resources. I will research things for people. I will even chew your food for you.
I have come across the same survey at every job I have applied for. It asks all these questions that contradict each other. They also are twisted up to where you give the wrong answer and make yourself look like someone that you are not. These personality tests should be banned. Seriously, if I go shopping at Hollywood Video I want someone polite helping me. I always have to deal with a crabby customer service person.
"You don't act polite when you don't want to" is one question. Do I agree or disagree? Look, I am polite. When I don't want to be polite I am polite anyway. So, I am a bit confused on whether to agree or disagree.

But, I Want To Be There

I was so excited about my new job. The moment I saw the cubicles I thought, how come I didn't get here sooner? The people are freaking cool. Some are jerks but they just need a piece of Prozac candy.
I didn't make it as a sales person. I figured I would be great at it. I am a customer, I have had there service for a while. I was a Verizon customer, I am certain I would be able to sell that. I had DirecTv, I worked for them, I should have been able to sell that to. Everyone wants a discount and everyone is looking for a bundle. Knowledge isn't strategic enough to be able to sell something. I think I am way to technical. The years of being a resolution specialist had me distracted to keep on trying to resolve ones issue.
Yesterday, was the last day of my assessment. I tried my hardest. I didn't succeed. Today, I was let go because I could not meet sales goal.
It really boggles my mind. Over the weekend, I nearly helped a Walmart guy make a commission off of the Droid. I even spoke to the people looking at it and I feel that I did get their interest. I bet I could sell stuff in person. It is so much different when you are there in person versus when you are on the phone. It confuses me.
I was told that I am "rehireable" by the company but, not in sales. Which is fair. I know I can't sell anything. So, I will keep my eyes open for another opportunity to work for Qwest. In the mean time, I am looking for a job again.